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'The checks in the mail' just doesn't cut it

By TIMES WIRES
Published January 20, 2007

Folks who work in the post office in Owensboro, Ky., get paid every other week. But they still haven't gotten their checks from Jan. 12. Seems they were lost in the mail, which no one seems to find humor in. "Somebody somewhere made a mistake," Postmaster Kristine Fox told the Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer. "And nobody has 'fessed up yet." She waited to ask for new checks because she kept thinking the old ones would surface. "I wouldn't have waited this long, but I kept thinking I would find them." The checks originate in Minnesota.

The recreation board in Marysville, Ohio, doesn't have much of a sense of humor about one of its parks. The park didn't have an official name, but it was on the south side of town, and people have taken to calling it South Park. The board decided that name was inappropriate, because they didn't want people thinking the park was the stomping grounds of foul-mouthed Comedy Central cartoon characters. "We wanted to get away from the name South Park," said Deborah Groat of the board. "Far away from South Park," said Cathy Dwertman, without really adding anything. They unanimously chose Greenwood Park as the new name. The City Council must approve the change.

Ha! Those cops will never find us!

Three men in Lindenhurst, N.Y., were arrested on charges of stealing 14 global positioning system devices. It didn't take police long at all to find them. You'd be surprised how easily police can track a device that can tell them its location anywhere on Earth. Or, at least, the three men in Lindenhurst were pretty surprised.

We'd like a place with a laundry room

Managers at Englebrook Apartments in San Marco, Texas, reported a burglary in the laundry room. When police arrived, they found two men leaving with a bag of quarters, reports KEYE-TV. When the police searched the men's van, which must have been sitting pretty low, they found $18,700 in quarters. That's 989 pounds of change. They also found apartment guides from Texas, Arkansas, North Carolina and Louisiana.

Please don't feed man-eating feline

A man visiting the Novosibirsk Zoo in Siberia may have been hitting the bottle a little too hard. While walking around the zoo, he had a bag of potato chips, and whether he couldn't finish the bag, or what no one knows. But he decided to share them. With a tiger. He jumped into the enclosure with the big cat and started feeding him chips. The tiger bit him in the arm, which may have served to sober him up a bit, and he managed to get out safely. Rostislav Shilo said people can't always be stopped from entering cages containing dangerous animals. "This is the visitor's choice: He can put his head on a train track, or he can go in with the tiger."

[Last modified January 20, 2007, 00:32:20]