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Memorial that became message has new home

While two families argue over where to place the marker, a third says put it in our yard.

By TERRI BRYCE REEVES
Published January 28, 2007

CLEARWATER - It was a simple, heart-shaped memorial, dedicated to Ian Tilmann, a former Marine who died at 28 after a skateboarding accident.

For almost a year and a half, the roadside shrine stood alongside Hercules Avenue, at the bottom of "Cemetery Hill," a favorite and risky road for skateboarders.

But on Christmas, when Marcy and Barry Tilmann of Safety Harbor went to place a red rose on their son's memorial, they were stunned.

Their tribute to their son was gone.

"I couldn't believe it," she said. "Someone had taken away our memorial. Do you know how disrespectful that is?"

The incident became a raw point for two families: The Tilmanns and the Fogg family, which is trying to sell the house closest to the memorial and thinks it should go.

A Fogg family spokesman said the sale had nothing to do with the family's wishes and proposed that the memorial be moved to a nearby park. He said the memorial stirred up painful memories about one of the Fogg children who died tragically.

On Saturday, the Tilmanns and a few supporters gathered on the right of way near where the marker once stood.

They passed out literature about the Ian Tilmann Foundation, which has given away more than 475 helmets to skaters and bikers. (Ian was not wearing a helmet when he fell.) They asked passers-by to sign a petition to amend Clearwater city ordinances to allow memorials on public rights of way. They registered neighborhood youngsters for cool-looking safety helmets. And they talked to police summoned by someone upset by their presence. (No one was arrested.)

The Tilmanns said they planned to rally next to the Fogg house every weekend until the Foggs agreed to not remove their marker.

"If these people would agree not to pull out our board, we'd pull out of here in a heartbeat," Barry Tilmann said.

By day's end, they got the promise they wanted, but not from the people they asked.

* * *

The Fogg family home, built at the corner of Hercules and Sever Drive in 1964, had been home to seven siblings and their parents, Reg and Mabel Fogg.

Reg died in 1995; Mabel passed away in March 2005. They also lost a son, Quinn, a popular athlete who died at 20 of Hodgkin's disease.

A family spokesman, Daryl Savell, who is married to Kim Fogg, one of the six remaining siblings, said the family was well known in the community - after all, there were seven children in seven years.

"If you grew up in Clearwater in the '70s, you knew the Fogg family," he said.

Since his mother-in-law's death, Savell said, "the house has served as a gathering place for siblings, a place of strong memories and refuge."

But over time, he said, the Tilmanns' memorial, placed near a pine tree planted to honor Quinn, had become an emotional burden - one family members faced every time they drove up.

"The Fogg family is not insensitive to tragedy," he said. "But everyone assumed that after a respectable period of time, someone would remove it."

With the house for sale, the Tilmanns speculated that the Foggs thought the memorial was scaring off buyers.

The Tilmanns said they confronted Savell this month and he acknowledged taking down the memorial.

"He said he threw it away, that he was sorry, but that he didn't want it back up," said Barry Tilmann, a 58-year-old real estate developer. "He said it would affect the marketability of the home."

This week, Savell said he did not take the memorial down but said he believes another family member removed it. He said the fact that the house was for sale had nothing to do with the family's wishes to have it removed.

"It was badly vandalized and had something smeared on it," he said.

The comment infuriated Marcy, 52, who said it was not vandalized but had some wood rot.

That's why, she said, they had a new $200 memorial professionally made and weatherproofed. But they didn't want to put it back just to have it thrown away again.

Savell said he offered the Tilmanns a compromise.

"The Fogg family would be pleased to join them in a joint proposal to the city to erect a permanent memorial for their son at the city park, less than 100 feet away, that delivers a safety message and publicizes the Ian Tilmann Foundation," he said.

No, said Marcy Tilmann.

"It needs to be where skaters are going to see it and get the message," she said.

* * *

Neighbor Jim Schaedler, who lives across the street from the Fogg house, was there the night of May 16, 2005, when Ian Tilmann flew down the hill, hit an embedded street reflector, and lost control of his board.

Since then Schaedler has used the marker as a tool, to educate youngsters on wheels about the dangers of the sloped and curvy street.

"It's usually at night, they are wearing dark clothes and in the middle of the street," he said. "I point to the sign and say 'I don't want this to happen to you.' "

He said the memorial was important because it conveys a message on the dangerous downhill street.

"It's a message that needs to be heard," he said.

Mike Quillen, Clearwater's director of engineering, said city policy does not allow memorials on public rights of way.

"We don't enforce it unless we get significant complaints," he said. "This is a tough one. I hope it gets worked out amicably."

It did.

Late Saturday afternoon, the Tilmanns said the Bruce family, who live on the opposite side of Hercules, agreed to let them put the memorial on their property.

"I feel wonderful about it," said Marcy Tilmann. "I am extremely relieved, very grateful and happy to see that there is some humanity left in this world."

Learn more

Visit www.theiantilmann foundation.org.

[Last modified January 28, 2007, 00:03:57]