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Of nappers, nightmares

By WASHINGTON POST
Published February 15, 2007

Napping at work can help prevent heart disease. At least, that's the tentative conclusion of a study published this week in the Archives of Internal Medicine. It's one of those medical stories that we ought to just accept as true and not look too closely at the methodology, given the heart-healthy alternatives of exercise and vegetables. Roll out the sleeping mats.

Or so we thought until we curled up under our desk and were promptly visited by Washington nightmares. In our dreams, the new Democratic majority in Congress quickly introduced the Freedom Of Restorational Time for Yawning, Whittling, Inclining, Nesting, Knitting and Sleeping (FORTY WINKS) Act, mandating 30 minutes of "quiet time" for every worker in businesses with five or more employees. Bill sponsors presented economic studies proving that this would actually save money for businesses by improving worker efficiency.

Republicans countered with the Solitude Investment and Entrepreneurial Sleep Trading Account (SIESTA). Trial lawyers soon consolidated into a class action the lawsuits of thousands of widows whose husbands had not been permitted to nap at work. Big Pharma began marketing a 30-minute snooze pill, which House Speaker Nancy Pelosi insisted be covered under Medicare Part D and. ...

Fortunately at that moment we awoke, knocking our head on the underside of our desk, and scrambled back into our chair, thinking that maybe jogging and broccoli aren't so terrible after all.

[Last modified February 15, 2007, 12:00:45]