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At the fair with Mr. Cheap

Don't be shy when it comes to free samples, and you, too, can manage a full day for 20 bucks.

By JAY CRIDLIN
Published February 15, 2007

Cheapness is an art. Don't let any fancy-pants spendthrift tell you otherwise.

At the Florida State Fair, though, cheapness is more than art. It's a necessity. A family can drop $50 on the midway without missing a beat. A $10 ticket here, an $8 turkey leg there, a $20 souvenir in the middle - it all adds up in a hurry.

So on the fair's opening day last week, I set out to experience as much of the fair as humanly possible - lunch, rides, games, souvenirs, the whole nine yards - for exactly $20. One adult, one ticket, one crisp Andrew Jackson. Here's a Cheapskate's Guide to the Florida State Fair.

Admission: $6

I snagged an advance ticket at a 40 percent discount before the fair began. That presale is over, but there are other ticket deals, including discounted student tickets Monday and discounted senior tickets today. Visit www.floridastatefair.com for more admission specials.

Food: $3.50

You could make a meal out of the fair's free samples. I snagged two packs of chips and French onion dip from promoters outside the front gate. A cookware demonstration yielded a decent sample of cooked chicken and veggies. A chef in the Ag Hall of Fame building - a great place for cheap eats - handed out plates of sweet orange shrimp and roasted potatoes. And samples of soup, oranges, honey, fudge, pork rinds and chip dip are everywhere.

For lunch, I bought a hot dog ($2 on the midway), a chocolate-dipped strawberry on a toothpick (50 cents) and a bottle of water ($1).

Rides: $3

Ride tickets are $1 each, but lots of rides take several tickets. I chose the $3 Zipper, an oblong device that turns like a Ferris wheel, with cages that spin independently. We flipped too many times to count. Totally worth it.

Souvenirs: $0

Who needs souvenirs when you've got promotional giveaways in the Expo Hall? Sure, some of it's not worth much - pens, flimsy magnets, tons of coloring books. But some of it's not bad. For example, by sitting in on that cooking demonstration, I received a free stainless steel paring knife.

The best junk came from Johnny Law. The Florida Highway Patrol handed out sippy cups and foam bouncy balls. The Tampa Police Department gave me a free gun lock. (I don't own a gun, but still.) And I'm proud of the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office badge proclaiming me a Junior Crime Fighter.

Before long, all this swag started to get heavy. So I picked up a free knapsack from Chevrolet. Problem solved.

Entertainment: $5

There's more than enough free entertainment to go around, from live music to dog shows to exotic animal displays. (Heaven knows you don't need to sell me on the merits of the Hollywood Racing Pigs.) And one of the freak shows trotted out a man who drove nails into his nose and an elderly midget who ate fire.

In the end, I dropped $5 on a ticket to the opening night concert by Reel Big Fish. (For $5, you can see Mickey Gilley at 6 p.m. Friday, Davy Jones at 6 Saturday and Ronnie Milsap at 6 Sunday. The Country Gold Tour at 2 and 6 p.m. today will set you back $10.)

Games: $2

There are free games at the fair. I won a vanilla Frosty in a wheel-spinning game sponsored by Wendy's and a can koozie from the Division of Forestry. I struck out on a ball-toss game sponsored by Advil, though I did get some complimentary pills. And though I suppose you could consider milking a cow some sort of "game," I took a rain check.

Most midway games cost at least $2, but there are exceptions. I played five balls for $1 at a Skee-Ball alley and didn't win. Bummer. But when I plunked down a buck at a nearby Wiffle Ball toss, I hit the jackpot and won a foot-tall plush Florida Gator. Score!

Physical therapy: 50 cents

I ended up with 50 cents left. I was exhausted - shopping for deals isn't easy, you know - so I dropped 25 cents into a Footsie Wootsie vibrating foot massager. Ahhhhh. It felt so good that I decided: What the heck, let's do it again. So I popped in the final quarter for one more foot rub.

Hey, you only live once. Might as well splurge.

Jay Cridlin can be reached at cridlin@sptimes.com.

. If you go

Florida State Fair

The fair continues through Monday. Gates open at 9 a.m. daily; midway opens 11 a.m. today, Friday and Monday; 10 a.m. Saturday and Sunday. Closing hours vary. Florida State Fairgrounds, U.S. 301 off Interstate 4, Tampa. Admission $10, $5 ages 6-11. Pepsi Armband Days (unlimited rides for $25): Friday, Sunday and Monday. Senior Day: Today, $6 ages 55 and older. (813) 621-7821; www.floridastatefair.com.

[Last modified February 14, 2007, 12:21:57]