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Families feel brunt of wars

Much has been written about the deprivations suffered by soldiers in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. Less attention has been paid to those who often suffer unseen and unheard - the families back home.

Particularly hard hit are those left behind by members of Reserve forces called to the front, sometimes for more than one tour of duty. Support programs for spouses and children are prevalent on military bases, but reservists' families live in a nonmilitary world that is often unaware of the challenges they face.

Lori Jorgenson is one of those feeling the stress. Her husband, a captain in the Minnesota National Guard, has been deployed since November 2005 and recently had his tour extended. "Since my husband has been gone, I have potty-trained two kids, my oldest started preschool, a kid learned to walk and talk, plus the baby is not sleeping that well," she told the New York Times. "I am very burnt out."

Burnout can be the lesser of evils. Financial problems, infidelity, divorce and clinical depression are on the rise in military families. The current wars have exacerbated the problem, said Kristin Henderson, a military wife who has written a book on the subject, While They're at War. In particular, repeated and extended tours of duty add to the stress felt by families. "The common misconception is that the more you do this, the better you get," Henderson said. "That is not true."

Often, reservists' families lose significant amounts of income when a spouse goes on active duty. Then there are the psychological problems associated with a parent's lengthy absence, particularly for school-age children in a civilian setting. "It is highly likely that the teacher doesn't have a personal experience with the military," said Dr. Mary Keller, head of a non-profit group that helps such children.

It isn't that the military is unaware of the challenge. Many of its programs, however, rely on volunteers and agencies that have already been stretched thin. And with less than 1 percent of the population involved in the active military, too few Americans are aware such sacrifices are being made.

It is difficult to see how the situation will get better any time soon, considering the strain of fighting two wars with a volunteer military. Yet it is a rip in the fabric of our society that cannot go unmended for long.

[Last modified February 27, 2007, 00:38:37]