By TIMES WIRES
Published March 8, 2007
CHEESEHEADS: A SKINNY SPECIAL REPORT
People give Florida a lot of grief for being where all the weird news happens. But what about Wisconsin? Here is a rundown of some crazy happenings that have absolutely no connection to our state:
THAT'S NOT DRUG STUFF. THAT'S JUST MY BOMB.
Here's one of those things that's never good to say to a police officer: "That's not a dope pipe. It's my bomb." Eugene Hansen of Wittenberg, Wis., found himself in a position last week when the cops thought that they found him with a marijuana pipe. So they asked him about it. And he corrected them. According to the Shawano Leader, Hansen told the authorities that he likes to blow up things like rolls of toilet paper. It gave no indication what he had against toilet paper. He now faces up to six years in prison on charges of possessing an improvised explosive device.
You have to conceal your stash, dude
If you thought that would be the only item involving a marijuana pipe from Wisconsin today, boy were you wrong. Joseph Rost, 22, of Sheboygan was arrested and charged with drug possession when police found a pipe and a small amount of pot stashed in his underwear. How did the police know to look in his underwear? Well, the Sheboygan Press reports that Rost's car was stuck in a ditch, and police came to help and noticed his zipper was down. They didn't like his answer when they asked him if there was anything illegal in his clothing, so they looked. So remember, XYZ!
He couldn't break in, so he called cops
So far, these items include nothing about cheese, and this is the third about pot: Police say Zachary Brandl was trying to break into the St. Paul's Lutheran Church in Stevens Point. He was using a shovel to beat the front doors, but having no luck. He needed some help. So he called the police. They were definitely interested, and came right out. They searched him and found marijuana. When they seemed interested in that, he said, well, I have more a home and asked if they wanted to go over and see that stash. They said yes. He was arrested on criminal damage to property and drug charges. "There aren't many arrests like that," police Chief Jeff Morris said.
It's okay, officer, I'm just a werewolf
A woman in Fond du Lac called police at 3 a.m. last Thursday to tell them a man she had kicked out of her apartment came back, ripping through the deadbolt and grabbing her. Two men in the apartment restrained him while police came. Robert Marsh, 39, who had been released from prison a few days earlier, calmly explained that he was a werewolf and could change forms. And that's why he broke into the apartment. He was unable to change into any forms that would allow him to escape custody, though. He gave his address as the Fond du Lac County Jail, and that's where he's at. He's being held on trespassing and ... wait ... wait ... marijuana possession charges.
[Last modified March 8, 2007, 01:57:58]
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