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For these survivors, a weekend to remember

By ERNEST HOOPER
Published March 9, 2007

Of the 28 items on the agenda for the third annual Women of Color Cancer Retreat, there was one that stood out.

10 p.m. - Death By Chocolate Party.

Faces of Courage, a Tampa-based nonprofit group, sponsored the three-day motivational event last week at Rotary Camp Florida in Brandon. Nearly 50 cancer survivors from around the state came to be inspired and pampered, empowered and loved.

Yet the mere mention of the word "death," even in association with a guilty pleasure, seemed questionable to me. Faces of Courage founder and Chief Executive Officer Peggie Sherry smiled and said, "Is there any better way to die?"

Then she turned serious and explained that, on this weekend, the women could talk about death. And life. And living wills. And scars. And fears. And all the other taboo topics they had been forced to compartmentalize during their brush with death.

"With cancer, they've been through so many horrific things," explained Sherry, herself a survivor. "Some of them can last a lifetime, but we allow them to put words to it. They're allowed to release it. It almost becomes the end of it."

- - -

Almost all of the retreat activities were geared toward raising the self-esteem of this courageous group while creating fellowship among the participants.

Included in the list were spa activities, makeovers, hair stylings and massages.

Other events prove more cathartic.

At one point, the women were given a pad and asked to write a prescription to their doctors.

Focus on a cure, not on making a profit.

I am an individual. Do you know my name?

Yet they also reveled in more joyous events. There was a hat fashion show Saturday afternoon. On Saturday night, they covered the floor in bubble wrap, and stomped out each and every pocket as a deejay played such songs as Kirk Franklin's high energy gospel/hip hop hit Looking For You.

They called it a "pop hop."

- - -

It's important for African-American women to celebrate and embrace their survival. Time and again, empirical and anecdotal evidence indicates that women of color hide their illnesses.

Why? Culturally, Sherry said, the women were raised with a unique mix of humility and shame, as if they did something wrong by contracting cancer.

"We're taught to share only happiness, to keep cancer to ourselves," said Linda Woodard, an Oldsmar resident and 10-year cancer survivor. "Now we've learned we don't have to do that. We don't have to hide anything and we can share with others."

Sherry started a specific retreat for African-American women after learning that some don't seek treatment until they reach the latter stages of cancer. The retreat continues to flourish. An entire busload from Mount Zion Primitive Baptist participated this year.

Equally important is that many of the participants choose to expand their circle by participating in the Faces of Courage events open to all women cancer survivors. The comfort level rises, and the women learn to share with other survivors and with other family members who need to know their histories.

- - -

On Sunday morning, former Miami-Dade County judge and motivational speaker Shirlyon McWhorter urged the ladies to open up so they can inspire the next cancer victim.

Then, borrowing from the style of a Baptist preacher, she called the ladies to action.

"I'm not going to fall, but if I fall I'm going to fall on my back so I can look up at the Lord. Because if I can look up, I can get up."

The women rose to their feet, many closing their eyes and raising their arms to the sky. Later, they sang Lean On Me and moved outside and participated in one more unique ceremony.

They opened envelopes and released butterflies in the garden on the 18-acre campground. More than the butterflies soared.

That's all I'm saying.

Ernest Hooper also writes a column for the Tampa & State section. He can be reached at hooper@sptimes.com or (813) 226-3406.

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Faces of Courage

For more information on Faces Of Courage, call (813) 877-2267, or go to www.facesofcourage.org.

[Last modified March 8, 2007, 07:44:27]