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The skinny

By TIMES WIRES
Published March 17, 2007

AN EXTRA TERRESTRIAL

WHENEVER IT'S OVER NEW MEXICO, PLUTO IS A PLANET

Things are getting done in New Mexico. Less than a week after Gov. Bill Richardson made the bolo tie the state's official neckwear, the state House of Representatives has approved a nonbinding memorial declaring that Pluto is officially a planet whenever it "passes overhead through New Mexico's excellent night skies." Astronomers declassified Pluto from planetary status last year, a move that really irked some New Mexicans, because the guy who discovered it was New Mexican. The measure still has to get through the Senate.

A TICKET TO RIDE

Teen goes to great speed to ride bus

Ryan Henry of Valparaiso, Ind., wanted to get an energy drink before school, so he hopped in his Mustang and went to the local gas station to pick one up. But then he was running late. It seems that Henry, 18, was ordered by a judge to ride the bus to school after he was convicted of speeding earlier. So to get back to the bus stop in time, he drove 93 mph in a 45 zone. He now faces a reckless driving charge, and will appear before Judge Julia Jent in April. Jent is the judge who sentenced him to ride the school bus, but she isn't surprised that she'll be seeing him again. "I raised four kids. I know what they're going to try," she told the Post-Tribune in northwestern Indiana.

OH, BOTHER

Man says his honey hid the grenade

A Russian man was travelling by train from Omsk to Almaty in Kazakhstan when border guards asked to check the big pot of honey he was carrying. Guards thought that the pot seemed a little heavy for honey, so they looked inside and found a homemade grenade. The man claimed that he had no idea there was a grenade in there, and that his wife had given it to him to give to her relatives in Kazakhstan. No one disputed the plausibility of his story, but they arrested him anyway.

UPDATE

Chimp paternity

It was like an episode of Who's Your Daddy at Chimp Haven near Shreveport, La. You may recall that Teresa, a fortysomething chimp at the facility, had a baby in January. That should have been impossible. All the male chimps are supposed to have the chance of becoming a dad surgically eliminated when they check into the refuge, which cares for primates who were once used in Hollywood or animal testing. But the DNA tests are in, and DNA doesn't lie: Conan is the man. "I think most of the staff thought it could be Jimoh, but also Magnum and Conan (above, looking just ecstatic) were definitely affectionate towards Teresa," Chimp Haven president Linda Brent said in announcing the results on Good Morning America. Apparently, Springer was booked.

[Last modified March 17, 2007, 02:12:52]