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Schools

Hooting, hollering 'NO'

The D.A.R.E. spokesman puts on a high-energy, antidrug show for elementary kids.

By SHEELA RAMAN
Published March 21, 2007

ADVERTISEMENT [Times photo: Jim Damaske] Retro Bill emotes Tuesday during his antidrug presentation in the auditorium at Dunedin High School.

DUNEDIN - Retro Bill grinned at his packed audience of grade schoolers Tuesday.

"Do you want to go home and freak out your mother?" he yelled, his eyes wide.

"YEAH!" they shouted back.

Then, following his lead, they screamed together and threw their hands up as if they are riding a roller coaster. When the antic is over, they can't stop giggling.

Retro Bill is larger than life. Larry King has called him the 21st century Mr. Rogers. He travels across the country 300 days of the year to deliver motivational speeches at schools. His Web site draws thousands of hits per day.

His message is simple: say no to drugs, be kind to others, and stay away from creepy strangers. But Retro Bill, an Illinois native whose real name is Bill Russ, has found a way to blend this age-old message into a one-man act tinged with rock-a-billy and grade school humor. With his Elvis-worthy hair and trademark shirt printed with vivid flames, he's actually somewhere between Mr. Rogers and a cartoon hero.

The kids adore him.

Nearly 4,000 of them, between grades 2 and 5, flocked to see him perform at Dunedin High School Monday and Tuesday. The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office brought Bill to the school in connection with the anti-drug organization D.A.R.E. Retro Bill is also the official D.A.R.E. safety buddy.

He tells the kids to be brave and apologize to anyone whom they have bullied recently. The person that was bullied, he promises, will get goose bumps.

"If anyone asks you about it, you can say, 'I've got chicken skin, like KFC,' " he says, grinning.

His audience roars with laughter.

Bill pulls out a rubber chicken and wiggles it around. More laughter.

He talks about a young girl he met who said her classmates always called her ugly.

"If someone calls you ugly, here's what you can say, 'Out of the 6-billion people in the world, I am unique. In fact, I am a masterpiece,'" he said, striking an artistic pose.

Now that his jokes have earned the kids' rapt attention, Bill moves on to more heady topics, such as strategies for fending off drugs.

Like many antidrug speakers, Retro Bill tells the children there are many ways to say no. Only his ways are slightly different.

"If someone approaches you with pills before school, ask them: 'Do I have a STUPID sign over my head?' Then walk away."

He pulls various types of drugs - pills, cigarettes, chewing tobacco, alcohol - out of a garbage can and talks about each one's ill effects in humorous anecdotes.

Justin Hollister, 10, of Clearwater's Modesta Robbins Partnership School had never heard of Retro Bill. He was in stitches of laughter throughout the performance.

When asked what he thought of Bill, Justin said, "He was funny!"

What did he learn from Bill?

"Stay away from drugs!" he said.

Later Tuesday, Retro Bill planned to shoot a video for the Sheriff's Office outlining safety tips for handling bus stops, biking, animals, boating, and other situations. The video will be distributed throughout Pinellas County schools, said Deputy Ken Stevens.

"This is my life's passion. It's sending a well-balanced message presented as dessert," Retro Bill said, as he prepared to pose for a photograph. "And every kid loves dessert."

[Last modified March 21, 2007, 07:45:49]