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This bracket packs some punch

A plan to save the heavyweights.

By JOHN C. COTEY
Published March 21, 2007

Saving the heavyweight division, or at least pretending they can, is the favorite pastime for many boxing fans. Is it worth saving, though? We're not sure. But we're not ones to just quit on our stool, so we came up with a plan, in the spirit of March Madness:

1. We selected 12 fighters: the four current champs, and to appease those greedy boxing organizations, the next eight based on a scoring system in which they received points for each ranking they have, with a No. 1 worth 10 points, No. 2 worth nine and so on.

2. That left us with guys such as Vladimir Virchis the only heavyweight in the whole world ranked by the WBC, WBA, WBO and IBF and Ray Austin (who just lost to Wladimir Klitschko in rather embarrassing style) and Sultan Ibragimov, who loses points for actually drawing with Austin. Oh, and Tony Thompson, a 35-year-old prospect. Ick. So we dumped those four.

3. Enter Evander Holyfield (Legends Exemption), former champs Vitali Klitschko and Lamon Brewster and our darkhorse, Alexander Dimitrenko.

4. Attempts to get Mike Tyson in the tournament failed when he passed to take part in Dancing With the Disgraced Stars, a new show on Fox.

5. Then we pretended.

John C. Cotey can be reached at johncotey@gmail.com or (727) 869-6261.

(Multiple sites, back-to-back weekends in June). Top four seeds get by.

The seedings

1. Wladimir Klitschko (IBF champ); 2. Nicolay Valuev (WBA); 3. Oleg Maskaev (WBC); 4. Shannon Briggs (WBO); 5. Vitali Klitschko; 6. Samuel Peter; 7. Ruslan Chagaev; 8. Evander Holyfield; 9. Hasim Rahman; 10. Serguei Liakhovich; 11. Lamon Brewster; 12. Alexander Dimitrenko.

5 Vitali Klitschko

12 Alexander Dimitrenko

Skinny: Tough draw for the unbeaten 24-year-old, who gets the former WBC champ. Not only that, but they are both trained by Fritz Zdunek, who has to make a choice here. Hmmm. Wonder whom he goes with?

Result: Klitschko is rusty in his return to the ring, or is just taking it easy on his fellow Ukranian. KO in 10.

8 Evander Holyfield

9 Hasim Rahman

Skinny: Rematch of 2002 fight, when Holyfield made Rahman's right eye look like it was auditioning for a stage production of The Elephant Man.

Result: Before the fight, Holyfield's 17 children present him with a rocking chair. In the 10th round, Rahman presents him with a canvas.

6 Samuel Peter

11 Lamon Brewster

Skinny: Best matchup of the first round. A brutal and thrilling slugfest, with Brewster going down in the third, fourth and fifth rounds.

Result: Peter needs stitches to close a cut over his right eye, taking some abuse before finally getting Brewster to stay down for good in the ninth. Promises a rematch if he wins tourney.

7 Ruslan Chagaev

10 Serugei Liakhovich

Skinny: Chagaev (nickname: the White Tyson ... honest) won a split decision over John Ruiz, his claim to, uh, fame? Liakhovich (nickname: the White Wolf ... swear) broke the Russian grip on the division by losing to Shannon Briggs. He deserves to again.

Result: Fans boo for all 12 rounds of a dreadful UD win for White Tyson.

1 Wladimir Klitschko

9 Hasim Rahman

Skinny: Rahman is seen mumbling "I beat Lennox Lewis, I beat Lennox Lewis, I beat Lennox Lewis" over and over again before the opening bell.

Result: Boy, 2001 sure was a long time ago, wasn't it? Klitschko loses two points for holding but captures an easy unanimous decision.

2 Nicolay Valuev

7 Ruslan Chagaev

Skinny: Hey, this fight is actually scheduled for April 14! How cool is that. Oh, and Valuev is 3 feet and 300 pounds bigger than Chagaev.

Result: Valuev wins a decision. The world yawns. Just you wait 'til April to see us right on this one.

3 Oleg Maskaev

6 Samuel Peter

Skinny: Maskaev seems like a nice enough fellow, but he hasn't beaten any heavyweights of repute. Peter has some repute.

Result: Peter puts a whipping on Maskaev, who hangs in there for seven bloody rounds.

4 Shannon Briggs

5 Vitali Klitschko

Skinny: Briggs is the only fighter to have beaten both Abraham Okine and Demetrice King. Yeah. Us either.

Result: Briggs decides his best plan of attack is going for a first-round knockout. There is a first-round knockout. Briggs can see it on instant replay when he comes to.

(First two weekends of January 2008)

1 Wladimir Klitschko

6 Samuel Peter

Skinny: Klitschko handed Peter his only loss, 114-111 on all the cards, in 2005. Their last fight was filled with ugliness, and this one is no different.

Result: The overly aggressive Peter tries the same tactics as he did last time, but one difference: Klitschko fights like he's not scared and lands a crushing KO blow in the seventh.

2 Nicolay Valuev

5 Vitali Klitschko

Skinny: Valuev, a 7-footer, wins the jump ball and drives in for a dunk. But Klitschko comes back and posts Valuev up on the blocks for an easy two.

Result: Old-time boxing fans breathe a sigh of relief as Valuev is chopped down two wins short of Rocky Marciano's heavyweight record 49-0 mark.

1 Wladimir Klitschko

5 Vitali Klitschko

Skinny: Finally, after years of anguish and torment inflicted on fans who have had to suffer through 134 different champions, 123 with names they can't pronounce, the heavyweight division will be settled by the two most accomplished champions since Lennox Lewis took his belts to the HBO broadcasting booth.

Result: The brothers, who have always said they would never fight each other, refuse to fight each other. The WBC reappoints Oleg Maskaev as champ, the WBC begs Valuev to retake its belt, the WBO decides to pass on Briggs and names Peter the champ, and the IBF strips Wladimir Klitschko and names Lamon Brewster as champ.

Columnists everywhere write off boxing.

HBO gives up; Versus starts carrying the sport.

Don King giggles.

(July in Las Vegas, monster PPV card)

(Madison Square Garden, February 2009)

Hasim Rahman

Ruslan Chagaev

Samuel Peter

Wladimir Klitschko

Lamon Brewster

ROUND 1

ROUND 2

SEMIFINALS

FINALS

[Last modified March 20, 2007, 23:32:34]