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Shooting from the lip

How was Peyton Manning on Saturday Night Live? Who is hockey's MVP? Answers to these questions and more in a look back at a weekend of televised sports.

By TOM JONES
Published March 26, 2007

How was Peyton Manning on Saturday Night Live? Who is hockey's MVP? Why was another Duke loss bad for basketball? And what old friend did we say goodbye to over the weekend? Answers to these questions and more in a look back at a weekend of televised sports.

Best performer

Because Peyton Manning has been in 16,000 commercials, it's no surprise he did a bang-up job as host of Saturday Night Live. That's not to say the show was any good. The problem was SNL's writing staff apparently had no idea how good Manning has been in his commercials because they cast him as the straight guy in most of the skits, a device they tend to use whenever an athlete or celebrity who can't act hosts the show. But anyone who has seen Manning's MasterCard or ESPN commercials knows the guy can act and be funny.

SNL turned to its stars and sophomoric "poop" and "passing gas" jokes for laughs instead of turning Manning loose.

Manning's best turn came in the monologue when he introduced his football-playing family in the audience. After talking about father Archie and brother Eli, Manning talked about his mother, Olivia.

"She never made it to the NFL," Manning said in a disappointing tone. "Didn't have what it took. Got cut by the Dolphins, tried Canada for a bit. She's a real disappointment for all of us."

Worst use of a camera

Saturday's UCLA-Kansas basketball game was played at HP Pavillion in San Jose, but did anyone else think the main camera might have been mounted somewhere east of El Paso? I half-considered holding a magnifying glass in front of my face just to see the baskets.

Best flashback

CBS announcer Dick Enberg seemed embarrassed when UCLA coach Ben Howland mentioned how Enberg used to call Bruins games in the old days. But listening to Enberg on Saturday, you couldn't help but think back to those days when Enberg was calling UCLA games on TVS Sports, games with Lew Alcindor, Bill Walton, Henry Bibby, Gail Goodrich, Sidney Wicks, Curtis Rowe, David Meyers and so on. And you know what? More than 40 years later, Enberg, now 72, is as good now as he was back then. And for that, I say, "Oh, my."

The-The-The-The Yankees on the radio

For those who like to listen to the Yankees locally on 1010-AM, radio broadcasters John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman have signed new five-year deals through 2011. I don't like the Yankees, but listening to those two call a game is not a bad way to spend a nice summer evening.

Corniest opening

This was Brent Musburger's opening on ESPN's NASCAR coverage Sunday: "You are looking live at famed Bristol Motor Speedway - NASCAR's Roman Coliseum where the strong survive and the weak are fed to the lions. Today's race features 21 Cup regulars or Busch-wackers, including Caesar himself: Dale Earnhardt Jr. One thing for certain, if you want the chance to be the emperor here, you can't get caught in the crossfire."

Yeah, because we all know how crazy the crossfire was when people started shooting guns back in the Roman Era.

MVP talk

The Hockey Night in Canada crew was talking league MVP Saturday night. There were two votes for Pittsburgh's Sidney Crosby and two for Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo. Lightning coach John Tortorella, as he should, is pumping his own guy, Vinny Lecavalier. As great as Lecavalier has been, Crosby has 108 points and has taken a franchise that was crummy and very nearly run out of Pittsburgh and turned it into a legitimate contender with a bright future. In Pittsburgh.

Worst loss

Normally, upsets are great for sports. Think 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team.Villanova beating Georgetown. Joe Namath's Jets over the Colts. But Duke's loss in the NCAA Tournament was bad for women's basketball. Though great for Rutgers (the team that beat Duke), the women's tournament still, after all these years, is trying to gain an identity and a reputation. The best way to do that is to have all the heavyweights - Tennessee, UConn and No. 1 Duke - well, duking it out for the national title.

Worst ticker ever

Sports can be cruel.

While watching ESPN Sunday morning, I noticed the ticker scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

After each score, there are usually a few words saying who the leading scorer was and maybe a quick game detail.

On Duke losing in the women's tournament, the ticker read, "Harding: missed 2 FT with :00.1 left."

Poor Lindsey Harding. If she weren't already banging her head on a wall, ESPN's ticker reminded her that she blew the game. It might as well have read:

"Way to go, Lindsey, you stinkin' slug, missing a shot that might have cost you the national championship. Nice going! Enjoy the rest of the tournament on TV. Loser!"

It's one of those cult shows that every channel-surfing sports fan knows. It's a show that you never purposefully watch but seem to always come across when you're flipping around late Sunday night when there really is nothing on TV. The George Michael Sports Machine, seen in the bay area Sundays at midnight on Ch. 32, has been a weekend sports staple for the past 25 years. Sunday, it said goodbye. George Michael, 68, pulled the plug, electing to retire so that others at WRC (the Washington affiliate that produces the show) would not face extreme cutbacks.

The show always seemed like it was being made in someone's basement, but that was the charm, along with that goofy machine that "activated" the highlights.

If I didn't know Sunday was the last show, I probably never would've noticed. But now that I know it's not going to be on anymore, I can't help but feel a little sad.

Strangest comment

ESPN's Mike Lupica is consistently the best thing going on the Sports Reporters, but his final thought Sunday morning was strange. He questioned whether Cardinals manager Tony La Russa is getting a free pass for his DUI incident in Jupiter because he's a respected manager who is white. The problem is I haven't heard anyone saying what La Russa did was okay. Certainly, the Cardinals organization is backing him and that's no surprise. But outside the team, La Russa is being roundly criticized - as he should be. By the way, the harshest criticism has come from Jim Rome, who said this on his ESPN show Jim Rome is Burning:

"We all make mistakes; you just hope they're not stupid, public, dangerous and criminal. St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa apparently did not get the memo. For the one-millionth time, mix in a limo or a designated driver or a cab. Tony La Russa is a very bright guy. He can do the math. He has to know that a cab, even at 300 bucks, is still going to cost him a whole lot less than his legal fees and the national embarrassment of getting busted on a (DUI) and sobering up in an 8-by-10. ... You can't really put a price on the humiliation and the recklessness of the act itself. I'm a huge Tony La Russa fan, but that guy can't make that mistake."

Strange comment II

Mike Lupica wasn't the only one with a bizarre closing on the Sports Reporters. Roy S. Johnson ripped the NHL for allowing fighting in the wake of another player (the Flyers' Todd Fedoruk) getting carted off on a stretcher. He questioned where the league and commissioner Gary Bettman were on the subject just days after league VP Colin Campbell - the league's top hockey operations guy - caused quite a stir by publicly saying the league needs to investigate whether fighting has a place in the game.

In addition, it's easy to sit back and say, "eliminate fighting," but anyone who truly follows hockey knows it simply isn't that simple.

What I want hear

While watching the Reds' Josh Hamilton, below, bash one ball after another around Progress Energy Park during batting practice Friday, I was thinking how nice it would be if someone with the Devil Rays said, "You know, we might have made a mistake letting this guy get away."

[Last modified March 26, 2007, 08:33:40]