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Here's an itinerary for a true circuit judge

By JEFF WEBB
Published March 29, 2007

The solution to the problem has been elusive, having perplexed learned jurists, powerful politicians and Hernando County's best bean-counters for the past several years.

But there it was Tuesday morning, right under my nose, and my bowl of cereal and fresh strawberries.

A story on Page 1, Court is not in recess, by staff writer Molly Moorhead informed readers that the Pasco County Courthouse in Dade City is beyond capacity. There are more judges and trials on the docket than there are courtrooms. Proving she is both resourceful and adventurous, Circuit Judge Linda Babb decided to hold forth in the courtyard. Defendants, lawyers, court reporters and bailiffs tagged along as Judge Babb convened drug court in an outdoor smoking area. Okay, stop thinking what you're thinking.

So, it occurred to me that if Hernando County followed Babb's lead, it could replace the need to build a new courthouse, or move the County Commission's administrative operations out of the government center and turn it over to the court system.

Hernando has two county judges and six circuit judges. (If none of them had a courtroom, would they be eight men out?) There are only six courtrooms. So, if the dockets align in an unfortunate way and all the courtrooms are taken, it could mean at least one judge would take his show on the road.

In Dade City, Judge Babb presided while perched atop a concrete planter. I say that disrespects the dignity of the court. I suggest that Hernando County invest in a mobile bench for the judge who finds himself odd robe out. (Those love seats Rubbermaid sells as pool furniture are nice, and they have under-the-seat storage for gavels, law libraries, and other legal whatnot.)

Then, with bench in hand and docket in pocket, the itinerant judge would be ready to scout venues, perhaps indoor as well as outdoor.

Following are but a few of the many possibilities:

- The pier at Bayport Park. Defendants can walk the planks while trial-watchers wet a line.

- Miss Kitty's Hilltop Lounge at the northern edge of downtown Brooksville. Members of the Bar and patrons of the bar are both welcome to belly up here. Plant the mobile judge there on a Friday night and you might just save travel time and transportation costs for first court appearances.

- Starbucks. When the county's first overrated chain coffee emporium opens in Brooksville later this year, it would make sense to have a judge on site when they commit highway robbery for a cup o' Joe. Until then, the judge might consider using the Rising Sun Caf, which has more character and is less corporate, and just a coffee bean's throw from the courthouse.

- Rainbow Rollerland, also in Brooksville. Careful, if you show contempt for the court here you're skating on thin ice ... er, floors.

- Weeki Wachee Springs. Imagine watching mermaids shake their tails behind the judge in the underwater theater.

- The snack bar at Alfred McKethan Park on Pine Island. Of course, the judge and his entourage would have to get there early to get a parking spot.

- May-Stringer Heritage Museum. When he's not straightening out defendants, perhaps the mobile judge will tame the ghosts that some folks claim haunt one of the city's oldest houses.

- The former Brooksville Regional Hospital. No, wait; it's too late. The County Commission sold that building earlier this week.

- The roof of the government center. Judge Merritt suggested this one as a courtroom. Added benefits for court personnel are suntans and, in the summer, lightning shows.

- The makeshift courtroom at the county jail that only gets used on weekends. (Note: This is the only sincere suggestion in this satirical list. Assigning a judge to the jail would save space and money and the idea should be explored further.)

So, you see, there's more than one way to accommodate the ever-expanding judiciary. One merely has to think outside the box - or maybe just outside.

Jeff Webb can be reached at webb@sptimes.com or (352) 754-6123.

[Last modified March 28, 2007, 22:14:03]