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Guest Column

Of ants, aphids and double taxation

By Eric L. Seiler
Published April 3, 2007

One of my favorite flowering plants is the hibiscus. Anyone who has grown this species knows it is also the favorite of the tiny aphid. They live in little colonies around the flower buds and work diligently to produce a sugary substance called "honeydew" from the sap. Honeydew is the sweet fruit of their labor, which attracts another insect - the ant. Sometimes a group of ants will muscle in on a colony and "milk" honeydew from the aphids. To some degree, the tiny aphids derive a benefit from the ants, who jealously guard them from other more predatory insects. But this benefit comes at a high price as the aphids are forced to feed not only themselves, but their uninvited ant overlords as well.

The residents of the city of Port Richey are like a little colony of 3,000 aphids; a little colony being overmilked by city government ants. The city government ants maintain their aphid colony in a state of double taxation, paying for city services that the county also provides and charges for. Nearly 90 percent of the other aphid colonies in Pasco County aren't milked the way Port Richey aphids are. City property taxes are 20 percent higher. City power bills are 13 percent higher. And until recently there has been no hope for relief.

But now there is a movement among city aphids to rid themselves of the city ants. They just want to be like all the other aphids in the county and pay fair property taxes and fees. They think the proper role of local government is to provide necessary municipal services at a fair price. But it seems the city ants think the role of city aphids is to provide an endless supply of political appointments and jobs for city worker ants, at any price.

This fact is well illustrated as the city gears up for an election on April 10 in which the city aphids are being given a chance to vote on whether or not they would like to dissolve the city government in favor of the fair taxes and fees that county aphids enjoy.

After a long and hard-fought effort, the ants on the City Council have been compelled to put a nonbinding referendum on the April 10 ballot. This "straw ballot" question was supposed to simply ask the residents of the Port Richey if they would like to dissolve the city government and become a part of unincorporated Pasco County. But the City Council ants, afraid of losing their honeydew, have slathered the ballot question with a heavy dose of aphid repellent, loading it with unrealistic and contrived concerns about costs and liabilities.

The question reads: "Should the City of Port Richey expend approximately $250,000 or more to develop a plan to dissolve the City of Port Richey by ordinance subject to approval by referendum, which shall include provisions for its creditors, vested pension rights of its employees, bond indebtedness and financial impact to the Citizens of the City of Port Richey if it is dissolved?"

Written in a way to poison the voter? You bet. But here's the antidote. "$250,000 or more" is merely a "guesstimate" by the city manager ant. But even that figure, as a one-time expense, is justifiable when dissolving the city government will save its taxpayers $1.4-million or more per year, every year, in city property taxes alone. As far as provisions for the city's creditors and bond indebtedness are concerned, according to the city's 2005 Comprehensive Annual Financial Report, there are total net assets in the city in excess of $15.5-million, versus only $4.6-million in long-term debt. Where "vested pension rights of its employees" are concerned, the financial report states such employees participate in the Florida Retirement Fund, a state program which should leave no liability to the city taxpayers if municipal worker ants move on. It seems in reality, that dissolving the city government should have no negative financial impact for the taxpayers.

But that's not all the ants are doing to try and maintain their hoard. Seems the city worker ants have stealthily put up political signs around the colony. These signs were initially put up anonymously, which is a violation of campaign regulations. And it seems these signs were provided by the Worker Ant Union, not the resident taxpayers. It seems these signs were designed to appear as though they were put in place by sentimental aphids in favor of keeping the city government.

The signs say '"Vote No" on the ballot question. How peculiar. Ants posing as aphids, trying to sway votes? Ants that don't even live in the city and pay the city taxes and fees? Meanwhile, when this campaign violation was brought up at a recent Ant Council meeting, none of the City Council ants were willing to take any kind of appropriate action. Not one. Not surprising.

If you are a registered voting aphid in Port Richey and are in favor of much lower property taxes and fees, then vote "yes" on the nonbinding ballot question for dissolving the city government. Don't let the wording spook you. We stay Port Richey. Our addresses remain the same. We just lose the ants.

Eric L. Seiler lives in Port Richey.

[Last modified April 3, 2007, 06:59:17]