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A sisterhood of mothers

Familiarity fosters friendship and kinship in a support group geared toward African-American and Hispanic women. Meet the Mocha Moms.

By EBONY WINDOM
Published April 13, 2007

PEBBLE CREEK

Four years ago, Kisha Meekins was a stay-at-home mom in a new city. Her military family had just planted roots in New Tampa's Pebble Creek subdivision. And Meekins didn't know a soul. So, when she stumbled upon a group of ladies laughing and chatting it up at University Mall's Family Resource Center, Meekins walked right over and introduced herself. The women, who called themselves Mocha Moms, were warm and pleasant. And in no time, Meekins was welcomed into the fold. "I kind of look at (Mocha Moms) as a godsend," said Meekins, who now serves as vice president of the group's Tampa chapter.

Mocha Moms is among a small handful of local support groups that are geared toward African-American and Hispanic mothers.

"All moms face similar challenges," says Dana Holmes Burnette, a long-time Mocha member who lives in Trinity. But "(Mocha Moms) gives me a sense of familiarity. And it gives my kids an opportunity to interact with other kids of color, which is not a frequent occurrence in my neighborhood."

"All my girlfriends are African-American. That was the whole point in joining Mocha Moms," said Aleesia Wells, 25, a Philadelphia transplant who now calls New Tampa home. "I was just trying to find (a group) where I really, really fit in."

The organization's history goes back a decade, when a pair of Maryland moms launched a newsletter aimed at reaching African-American stay-at-home moms. The newsletter spawned a support group.

Having been featured on Oprah and in Essence magazine, Mocha Moms Inc. now has swelled to 125 chapters nationwide, Meekins says.

In Tampa, Mocha Moms get together twice monthly for support groups. It's a comfy setting where moms can hang out and be themselves. Most Mochas have chosen to put their careers as counselors, preschool teachers and retail sales associates on pause to care for their kids full time. At least one mom holds down a part-time job. Another runs a home-based business.

Moms show up for support group with tots in tow. The Mocha Moms have long left their University Mall meeting spot. Until recently, the group met at a resource center in Brandon. Now, they've got new digs.

The North Tampa Family Support and Resource Center offers a central location for members who drive from Apollo Beach, St. Petersburg and Lakeland. And the center's play area is stocked almost floor to ceiling with books, toys, games, puppets and puzzles to keep the kiddos busy.

At a recent Mocha Moms meeting, youngsters scurried about while a small group of Mocha Moms chatted at a tiny table.

Kids can come along, but "the focus of the group is mom," said Meekins, 33. "We learn how to cope with motherhood. How to be a wife ... because a lot of times, we don't take time for ourselves."

While there might be a specific meeting agenda, the women also chat about whatever is on their minds.

Once a month, the group takes the kids on a field trip to the zoo or a bookstore for story time. The women gather for dinner and a movie, sans kids, for "Moms' Night Out." And "Exhale" is an intimate chat where members can vent and share.

Once, during "Exhale," a member admitted her husband was beating her. The others wrapped their arms around the woman and offered encouraging words.

When a single mom lost her job and home, a Mocha Mom moved the family into her home. When another member suffered a miscarriage, the Mocha Moms were there.

When Burnette gave birth to her son, Dayson nearly two years ago, Mocha members visited with covered dishes and baby gifts.

"And that's the kind of support you don't forget," said Burnette, who used to practice law in Ohio before becoming a full-time mom.

There are about a dozen Mocha Moms in the Tampa chapter. But the group has had as many as 30 members in past years. The turnover exists because sometimes moms re-locate or drop out when they head back to work.

Wells is a single mom and college student who is gearing up to return to work. She enjoys the Mochas, but says she'll have to put the club on hold once she finds a job.

Some Mocha chapters in other cities meet in the evenings to accommodate working moms. But the Tampa Mochas gather in the morning. That's a drawback, Wells says.

But whatever their situation, with Mocha Moms there's one common thread: "We're choosing to focus on the family," said member Stacia Hammond, 31.

For Meekins, Mocha Moms has become a new extended family. After four years, she's a Mocha veteran.

Barely a day goes by that she doesn't phone one of her Mocha girlfriends. On occasion, members swap babysitting duties. They celebrate kids' birthdays together. Meekins knows each mother and child by name.

"All of my closet friends are Mochas," Meekins said. "I've met some really great friends that I trust with my kids. The goal is to hopefully foster some kind of friendship."

Fast Facts:

All in the family

Mocha Moms meets every other Monday from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at the North Tampa Family Support and Resource Center, 1401-A Fowler Ave. in Tampa. For information, call Kisha Meekins at (813) 380-3060 or visit www.tampamochas.com or www.mochamoms.org.

[Last modified April 12, 2007, 07:40:04]