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By TIMES WIRES
Published April 20, 2007

A bad word day

Plucking the words right out of Bush's mouth

Strange things sometimes come out of President Bush's mouth. Thursday was one of those days. He went to Ohio to talk about terrorism and ended up musing about polls, chicken-plucking plants and the agony of death.

- "There are jobs Americans aren't doing. ... If you've got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I'm talking about."

- "There are some similarities, of course" between Iraq and Vietnam. "Death is terrible."

- "I've been in politics long enough to know that polls just go poof at times."

I feel stupid

Oops, I meant to pay that myself

Democrat John Edwards is trying to get out of a hairy situation, reimbursing his presidential campaign $800 for two visits with a Beverly Hills stylist. Two $400 cuts by stylist Joseph Torrenueva, who said the former North Carolina senator is a longtime client, showed up on Edwards' campaign spending reports last weekend. Spokesman Eric Schultz said the charges never should have been there. "John Edwards will be reimbursing the campaign," he said. Edwards is also the subject of a popular YouTube spoof poking fun at his youthful good looks. The video shows the candidate combing his tresses to the dubbed-in tune of I Feel Pretty. Records show Edwards' campaign also spent $250 in services from Designworks Salon in Dubuque, Iowa, and $225 in services from the Pink Sapphire in Manchester, N.H. Schultz said those services were legitimate campaign expenditures to prepare Edwards for media appearances. Political candidates often have hair and makeup done before appearances.

For the defense

Into the fray, with nary a bray

Faced with complaints that his donkey was too loud, attorney Gregory Shamoun decided to bring his case directly to the court: He had the donkey testify. Buddy the donkey made his case Wednesday. He walked to the bench and stared at the jury, the picture of a gentle, well-mannered creature and not the loud, aggressive animal he had been accused of being. "They bray a lot any time day or night. You never know when they're going to cut loose," testified oilman John Cantrell, who complained of donkey noise and manure piles. Neither jurors or Buddy had the last say - the neighbors settled their dispute while jurors deliberated.

Compiled from Times wires

[Last modified April 20, 2007, 01:17:10]