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Nap time of the day

By TOM JONES
Published May 13, 2007


Nap time of the day

Long-haired sax star Kenny G will perform today at the closing ceremonies of the Players Championship. Golf and smooth jazz? Someone better order a few extra cases of Red Bull.

Forced act of the day

George Steinbrenner is making sure you show your patriotism. The Yankees boss has instructed security guards to block the aisles to make sure no one leaves their seats when Yankee Stadium plays God Bless America during the seventh-inning stretch. Only those with an emergency are permitted to leave.

Juicy news of the day

The way the schedule is working out, Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens, left, might make his season debut June 1, 2 or 3 when the Yankees are at (drumroll) Fenway Park. Manager Joe Torre says that's fine by him. "It's going to be a circus anyway. It doesn't really matter."

Power rankings

A look at who's hot this week in the world of sports.

1. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Might have just become the most-wanted free agent in the history of sports.

2. Roger Clemens: $1-million for every day of work. Little travel. How do we get a job like that?

3. Street Sense: Nice job at Kentucky. Now, please, just don't break your leg.

4. James Shields: The Devil Rays have discovered a legitimate No. 2 starter. For now.

5. Detroit Pistons: A perfect 7-0 in the playoffs and one victory away from another conference final.

6. Derek Fisher: After spending three days with his 10-month-old daughter being treated for rare cancer, the Jazz guard provides inspiration and key buckets in a playoff game.

7. Josh Hamilton: Two homers in a game. NL rookie of the month. Can we now admit the Devil Rays goofed up?

8. Jay Feaster: Lightning GM is hot - really hot - that Evgeny Artyukhin, who has all of four NHL goals, turned his nose up at a $475, 000-a-year contract.

9. Ken Griffey Jr.: On a tear and is about to catch Harmon Killebrew for eighth on the all-time HR list. And we're 99 percent sure he has never taken HGH.

10. Moms: Happy Mother's Day!

 

A look at who's not hot in the world of sports.

1. Teresa Earnhardt: Might have gone from owning a racing team with the most popular driver in the country to little more than a memorabilia company.

2. Michael Vick: When your owner yells at you to clean up your act, you're having a bad week.

3. Roger Federer: Lost on clay for first time since 2004. Has four losses this year after having five in all of 2006.

4. Steve McNair: Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Why? Because you could get charged with a DUI, too.

5. Ted Saskin: The NHLPA head man fired. He would have been better off looking at porn on his computer instead of reading the players' personal e-mails.

6. San Jose Sharks: Our announcer will tell you about our lovely parting gifts.

7. Boxing: The De La Hoya-Mayweather Jr. match was supposed to revive boxing, but despite a great fight, the buzz has already worn off.

8. Curt Schilling: First he blasts media for getting the whole bloody sock thing wrong, and then he completely makes up stuff about Barry Bonds. Even his manager is telling him to shut up.

9. Ricky Williams: We're starting to think Ricky might have a bit of a problem with pot.

10. Toronto Blue Jays: Nose dive to bottom of the standings, and their $47-million closer (B.J. Ryan) is out for the year after Tommy John surgery.