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Your child is headed to summer school if ...

By Bruce Michaud
Published May 25, 2007


How do you know if your kid is headed to summer school? There are ways to determine if you need day care for the whole summer or just a week. I spent so many years in summer school that my longest break during the school year was the winter vacation. I spent so much time at school I had to marry a teacher just to feel at home!

So take my word, I know what I'm talking about!

- His class picture in the yearbook is with the principal and administrators.

- He is the only one in school who returned his books in excellent condition.

- A seal of fall freshness is heard from the hallway as your child opens his locker to clean it. The opening day school letter is in mint condition in his locker! This delights his eBaying friends, as artifacts like these fetch top dollar in the open market.

- He explains to you that FCAT is not even a word, let alone a test of ability.

- When he looks at his report card, he asks Pat Sajak if he can buy a vowel.

- You serve squid with frog eyes on rice maggots for dinner on the last day of school and he doesn't notice; he's so shocked at the prospect of going overtime into the summer with no more timeouts.

- The new summer school bus driver stops in front of your house all day during training.

- His school desk looks freshly polished. Upon closer examination, you notice the oils from his face while sleeping on the desk made an everlasting impression that could only be compared to the shroud of Jesus.

- He hugs his teacher on the last day of school. Instead of saying, "I will see you next year, " she says, "lets hope the AC doesn't break this summer!"

At least that's what they always said to me.

Guest columnist Bruce Michaud lives in Odessa.

[Last modified May 24, 2007, 08:22:48]

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