Older women know themselves and men too well

By Frank Kaiser, Special to the Times
Published May 29, 2007

Life Times asked its male readers, "What's wrong with older women?" Trouble is, anyone likely to answer such a query has to be a bit of a misogynist. It's like asking Adam what's wrong with Eve after they got booted from paradise.

"Don't get me started, " he might say, conveniently forgetting that he never hesitated to take a big bite of that apple.

What's wrong with older women? Let's start our search for the truth with the first older woman we men knew, our grandmothers.

Here's my question to all you curmudgeons: What was wrong with that cheery woman who loved you unconditionally, never said no when you asked for seconds, always remembered your birthday?

Oh, I see: "They don't make them like that anymore."

No, they don't. Today's model lives longer, is more independent, more learned, probably more honest than Granny ever could be.

Unlike women in our grandmother's generation, today's grandmother is tough and outspoken. Instead of politely tolerating your boorish behavior, she will not hesitate to tell you that you're acting like an ass.

That's just one of the things I like about older women.

While we geezers suck in our bellies and flex what's left of our atrophied muscles, attempting to look young and macho, most women our age dropped such vanity years ago, choosing rather to be themselves than what they think someone else wants them to be.

These mature women have learned to appreciate their uniqueness. Unlike many men their age, they've discovered how to be comfortable in their own sometimes-saggy skin.

And older women are far sexier than their younger counterparts. With the fear of pregnancy gone, lovemaking becomes passionate and reciprocal.

So why do so many men my age avoid women my age?

Perhaps one reason is simply that older women are on to us. The other day at my retirement community pool, I overheard four women discussing men and remarriage. They all quickly agreed that we men are not worth the trouble.

One of the women said after two marriages, she would be "insane" to marry again.

Another said that she sometimes thinks the time is right to get into another relationship but that she is then disappointed by older men who are dependent and whiny.

They all nodded, knowingly.

Besides being wise to us, older women are kind and forgiving, and they usually know how to cook well.

And their patience is as remarkable as their generosity and praise.

So maybe the question shouldn't be what's wrong with older women but, "Why don't older men realize what a good deal they have, especially considering that there are four of them for every one of us?"

That, I'm sad to say, truly puzzles me yet.

Frank Kaiser lives in Clearwater. Contact him at frank@suddenlysenior com or by writing to 2431 Canadian Way, Suite 21, Clearwater, FL 33763.

[Last modified May 28, 2007, 13:54:43]