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She'll always be Mommy's #1

By LISA BUIE
Published June 10, 2007

For almost four years, Zoe Byler has been an only child. But her world's about to change, big time. Her mother, Karoline, is pregnant with sextuplets.
	[Stephen J. Coddington | Times]

ADVERTISEMENT [Stephen J. Coddington | Times] Karoline Byler, 29, hugs Zoe during a Thursday night visit to a friend's house in Wesley Chapel. She wants to be sure to set aside time for her firstborn, even with siblings on the way. Previous coverage June 1: They wanted 2; here come 6

WESLEY CHAPEL

Each day for almost four years, while Ben Byler was at work, it has been just Mommy and Zoe. Mommy and Zoe stacking blocks. Mommy and Zoe reading Dr. Seuss' I Can Read With My Eyes Shut. Mommy and Zoe painting with watercolors. "Now, it's not me and her," said Karoline Byler, as 31/2-year-old Zoe splashed with friends in the wading pool at a Mom's Club playgroup Thursday. "I understand how that works, but she doesn't." Preparing a firstborn for the arrival of a sibling is a typical concern for many parents. But if all goes as planned, Zoe will become a big sister to six at once.

As with many parents of multiples, the Bylers used infertility treatments to get pregnant.

Karoline Byler, now more than four months pregnant, is using the time before she must be hospitalized this summer to get Zoe ready for the big event.

"I'm in the house alone with her," said Byler, who recalled biting her little brother out of jealousy when she was close to Zoe's age. "I wonder how she's going to feel with me gone."

Amid all the frantic preparations, the 29-year-old stay-at-home mom is savoring each play group, each story time, each Disney trip, though such trips now are off limits.

Zoe knows only that her mother is carrying more than one baby. She heard the obstetrician say so during an earlier checkup that revealed two. That was before a more sophisticated screening discovered six.

"She always says two babies," Byler said.

Zoe talks to "her babies" through her mother's belly button. She wants to help feed them, change their diapers.

When a gift box arrived at the front door recently, Zoe was excited to find they contained two car seats for "her babies."

"We talk about the babies," Byler said. "I tell her she's going to be able to hold them."

Zoe has given her dolls the same names her parents are considering: Hannah, Mackenzie and Brady.

Because Zoe's birthday falls on Aug. 14, when Mom will likely be in the hospital, the family celebrated early with a bash at Pump It Up, a Brandon party business that features inflatable games. After Byler checks into Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg, her daughter likely will stay at Grandma's in The Villages.

"She needs to feel like she's still No. 1," said Karoline Byler's mother, Patty Kiewra. Kiewra herself understands; she is the oldest of 11 children.

Byler is doing the all right things to acclimate Zoe, said a co-founder of a national support group devoted to families of multiples.

Maureen Doolan Boyle, who had triplets when her daughter was 21/2, said making the older child feel special is critical to her psychological well-being.

If not, "you're going to create a them-and-me (situation)," said Boyle, who serves as executive director of the New York-based Mothers of Supertwins, which was founded in 1987.

Boyle said Zoe is at a good age because she can understand a lot of concepts.

Suggestions included updating Zoe's baby book while there's still time and picking out new baby books that resemble hers.

Boyle also urged Byler to write Zoe a letter about what it was like when Zoe was an only child.

"She's not going to remember that 10 years from now," Boyle said. "When she's 16 and hating her mom's guts, she has this wonderful, wonderful letter she can give her."

Boyle also suggested recording Zoe's favorite songs and books so when Byler is in the hospital, Zoe will be able to hear her mother singing and reading to her.

"Make a little noise when it's time to turn the page," Boyle said.

Boyle said no matter how busy she is when the babies arrive, she wants to make sure she sets time aside just for her firstborn.

"Even if it's going to the pool for 40 minutes," she said. "Even if it's the Thursday play group, I'm going to do that."

Lisa Buie can be reached at (813) 909-4604. Her e-mail address is buie@sptimes.com.

About this series

For the Bylers of Wesley Chapel, the next five months will bring one life-changing event after another as Karoline Byler's due date approaches. The Times will document the story of the Byler family as they deal with the expected multiple births.

On the Web

- For a previous story about the Bylers, visit pasco.tampabay.com.

- For more information about multiple births, visit www.mostonline.org.

- To see the Bylers' personal Web site, visit www.bylerbunch.com.

[Last modified June 9, 2007, 19:52:45]