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Letter to the editor

Lifeline for two solitary souls

By DEMORRIS A. LEE
Published June 17, 2007

CLEARWATER - Single father Thomas McGuire was a day away from losing the home he shared with his 15-year-old daughter. But things turned up early last week when Clearwater's Homeless Emergency Project informed McGuire that the group had a place for them. It was one of more than three dozen agencies he'd called in Hillsborough and Pinellas counties looking for shelter. "Man, we've been through so much, just trying to live, we didn't even realize that Father's Day was coming, " McGuire said last week.

"This might not be where I want to be, but on this Father's Day, I will have a place for my daughter to lay her head. For that, I'm pleased."

Rosalind "Roz" McCall, a HEP case manager, said it's not unusual for single dads of daughters to have trouble finding emergency housing because most agencies will insist on providing two bedrooms. There's no similar limit for single moms.

But for McGuire, 42, it's just the latest hurdle in his evolution as a parent. His own upbringing was rough. His mother put him in foster care at an early age and his father disappeared from his life when he was a preteen.

"I'm a struggling single father, " McGuire said. "There were no models. It's hard to create something" - a family - "you've never seen created before."

* * *

There was no threat of homelessness in McGuire's life as recently as May. Working construction, he and Ashley, 15, lived in an apartment on Osceola Street.

Then he pulled a hamstring at a birthday party. It required surgery, a two-day hospital stay and six weeks of therapy and crutches. His job, and the paychecks, evaporated.

The bad luck came after a particularly emotional time.

Fourteen months earlier, McGuire's stepson Danny, the boy he had raised with Ashley for seven years, died of a drug overdose.

And then Easter weekend, McGuire learned that his father, whom he hadn't seen in 30 years, was dying of cancer and asked to see him. He and Ashley headed to Fort Lauderdale, where McGuire introduced his daughter for the first time.

"I held his hand for four hours, " McGuire said, his eyes watering. "We made peace."

McGuire came to fatherhood after a less-than-perfect early adulthood. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, he had several clashes with the law, including assault and burglary charges. His relationship with Ashley's mother was less than idyllic.

McGuire said all that changed in 1995 when he obtained custody of Ashley, then a toddler, and Danny.

"I'm far from perfect, but I've tried to do the right thing, " he said. "Men are supposed to be the gatherers and the hunters. When you are down and out, when I have to stay in a homeless shelter just to give my child a place to rest her head ... It's embarrassing."

McGuire has 30 days of free rent in the small two-room apartment. He will start driving a cab in a few days to gather money for a deposit and rent. He said he has a 17-year-old in New Jersey for whom he pays child support, yet, he said, he rarely receives the child support he's due for Ashley.

"I'm bitter because they run me down for child support, " McGuire said, "but Ashley's mother is ordered to pay child support and I get nothing and nothing happens."

* * *

None of the stress, though, compares with the strain of being a single father raising a teenage daughter.

McGuire fears that she'll fall into the wrong crowd or have controlling boyfriends. He worries that she may start dressing inappropriately.

"I'm at a stage where I have to give a lot more slack, but being a protective father, it's difficult, " McGuire said. "I'm not allowing her to live as 15-year-old, you know, hang out with friends. ... It's hard to be a single dad with a smart, beautiful daughter."

For Ashley, things are just as difficult. She said she loves her dad. She sees him struggle to provide. She said he's a hard worker. But some things are just hard to relate to him about.

"It's the girly things, " she said. "If you had a mom to take you shopping, you might have the same styles. With dad, it's not girly. It's different. I've been a tomboy all my life."

McGuire and Ashley are now in counseling.

Though he's down now, McGuire said he's a climber.

"I get knocked down but I get back up, " he said. "Like everyone, I have a past. But I will keep getting back up and getting back up. I have to. I have to take care of my daughter."

Demorris A. Lee can be reached at 445-4174 or dalee@sptimes.com.

[Last modified June 16, 2007, 19:41:35]