Mom's winning plays

Sometimes "doing it all" feels like a losing battle. It's time to put a family manager into the game.

By Erin Sullivan
Published June 18, 2007

RIVERVIEW -- Carol Stead has locked herself in her bedroom. She told her kids that if they knock, she's not going to answer unless it's a dire emergency. This is what it has come to - the past several months of just running on empty, trying to start her new business, dealing with a husband whose job means he's gone all the time, homeschooling her kids. The clutter . . . God, the clutter.

All Stead wanted to do was wax her legs. She bought the kit six months ago. But - as all harried moms know - there's little time for showering and a spot of makeup, let alone anything else. So she locked herself in her room. But the feeling of drowning, of being overwhelmed, didn't leave.

"I'm a mess, " the 46-year-old Stead said.

So she called Victoria Edwards - a friend who is a certified family manager, kind of like a Nanny 911 for the whole family. Edwards, who lives in Riverview, is one of about 100 women nationwide who work with clients in a home-based occupation known as "certified family manager coach." Edwards became certified last fall and has been giving makeovers since December.

"I love it, " said Edwards, a wife and mother of four who teaches women to see themselves as business CEOs. Most women are shocked to find out that they are doing 95 percent of what it takes to run the house - from getting the oil changed to doing laundry.

"They have to delegate, " Edwards said.

Edwards, 46, found this new career through reading books by Kathy Peel, a Dallas author and founder of Family Manager Inc., who developed a $499 online certification course based on home-keeping principles found in her 18 books. Coaches charge $199 for a household assessment and makeover and two consultations aimed at helping the harried better manage their domestic lives.

The emphasis here is not just on redesigning closets and alphabetizing spices. It is on involving the whole family in setting goals and priorities and managing time, Peel recently told the Washington Post. "Getting kids to school on time is more important than getting the clutter out of the basement, " said Peel, 56, whose Web site is at www.familymanager.com.

Leadership at home

In a nation whose citizens already hire others to walk the dog, prepare meals and get the car inspected, it's hardly a leap to sell consumers a multitier system promising rewards from cleaner floors to time for a facial.

But not everyone is convinced. Domestic coaching "may be the fad du jour, " trend spotter Marian Salzman, senior vice president of J. Walter Thompson advertising agency, told the Post. "We are willing to try anything that will buy us time."

In Peel's ideal universe, a family works as a team, led by a manager - and, yes, it's nearly always the mom. The coaches teach such basics as "communication, priorities, getting your kids to help with housework, " she said. Family meetings, chore delegation, house rules and self-nurturing are all part of the business plan.

"The point here is that the job of family manager is a valuable, executive-level position, and we need to get over any preconceived, Stepford-wife notion about what it means to oversee the goings-on of a home and family, " Peel said.

"The makeover service helps people figure out what needs to be done first" in seven areas: home and property; food and meals; family and friends; money and finances; time and scheduling; self-management; and special events.

That last one, Peel said, "sends lots of people over the edge. On top of everything you have to do, there is the holiday season, vacations, garage sales, weddings."

Buying time

Family management is a new niche in the home organizing industry. Web sites such as www.messies.com, flylady.net, shesintouch.com and gomominc.com have been offering advice and even e-mail reminders for years. Countless self-help books - Peel's latest, Desperate Households, comes out next month - aim to help people manage time, families, papers and possessions.

The National Association of Professional Organizers, formed in 1985, recently began to certify its members, who often list personal coaching among their skills.

This fall, Time Makeover, a 30-minute show, debuts on the Fine Living cable TV network. Experts will help people wring precious hours from busy schedules for things they really care about, such as parental "date nights" and regular family meals.

Chad Youngblood is general manager of the network, a corporate cousin of Home & Garden Television. He said the show's target audience is "time-starved Sarah": A 40-ish, married, professional woman with kids and "more money than time, " who can afford paying extra to have the computer technician, hair cutter and car detailer come to her home.

"Time is the ultimate luxury item, and organization is what we crave, " said Salzman. "It's the only way to buy ourselves time."

Stead, the frazzled Riverview mom, had her first session with Edwards earlier this month. Edwards told her that she needs to set up her command center and do what she can to get organized, such as having one address book, rather than numbers jotted down everywhere, and a take-out menu file.

"I'm still overwhelmed, " Stead said. "It's not easy. But, I'm feeling a little better."

This story includes material from the Washington Post. Times staff writer Erin Sullivan can be reached at 813 909-4609 or esullivan@sptimes.com.

The Family Manager Creed

I oversee the most important organization in the world

Where hundreds of decisions are made daily

Where property and resources are managed

Where health and nutritional needs are determined

Where finances and futures are discussed and debated

Where projects are planned and events are arranged

Where transportation and scheduling are critical

Where team-building is a priority

Where careers begin and end

I am a Family Manager

Source: www.familymanager.com

[Last modified June 18, 2007, 11:36:10]