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Letter to the editor

Interview: Need to stop a robot rebellion? Ask this man for help

By JAY CRIDLIN
Published July 2, 2007

It is time to prepare for the robot apocalypse.

Oh, you didn't get that memo? Yes, the robots are coming. They plan to enslave humanity. You'll be lucky to escape Earth alive.

The Transformers movie is further proof of this chilling inevitability. The plot can be summed up in two words - "Robots bad!" - and it's bound to score big at the box office, if only because it has the guts to tackle that most primal of human fears: that robots will someday unite and conquer the planet, possibly disguised as Mack trucks.

In times like these, we must turn to the experts who foresaw the robot wars. Specifically, we must turn to roboticist Daniel H. Wilson, a Popular Mechanics editor and author of How to Survive A Robot Uprising and the forthcoming How to Build a Robot Army, due this fall.

Like Transformers, Robot Uprising is being developed as a movie, with a script by Reno 911's Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant. Wilson, 29, recently chatted with the St. Petersburg Times about Transformers and the robo-human conflict that will no doubt doom us all.

First, and this is a very important question: Transformers, Go-Bots or M.A.S.K.?

laughs I had Go-Bots, I wanted Transformers, and the M.A.S.K. toys, I think I had, but I sort of despised, because the little men were so tiny, and they didn't articulate. The more the toy moves, the better. Transformers were the ultimate toy.

So will you be first in line to see Transformers?

Oh yeah. As a roboticist, what I love about the Transformers is that they don't care about people. They don't want to be human; they don't want to kill humans. They're like Greek gods - they have their own thing going on, and really, we just get in the way.

You've seen the trailers for Transformers. As an actual roboticist, can you rate how the robots look?

There's no real robots that have any need to transform like that. They look like they have hydraulic motors. There's no obvious power supply. They don't have realistic sensors. I don't see any laser range finders or radar GPS antenna. So no, I don't think they're necessarily that realistic - but I don't think it matters, either. You can tell they're robots.

Explain, if you can, exactly how the robots will eventually get us.

There are a lot of scenarios out there. I took on each of these scenarios and offered a guidebook to the human resistance. Basically, according to Hollywood, some sort of artificial intelligence is going to come online. It's going to immediately kill its creator, so you're going to want to look for newspaper articles in which scientists are mysteriously killed in their labs. And then this AI is going to seize control of the electrical grid, the utilities, the data communication networks, satellites - and of course it's going to grab control of all the robotic appliances. They will be the soldiers in this army. So whether you've got a smart house, or you drive a smart car, or you've got a robotic lawn mower, or a robot that vacuums your house, or, God forbid, you've even got a humanoid robot servant, you need to know all these tips.

Give me three pieces of advice that would help anyone who happens to find him- or herself in conflict with a robot.

If you're in a fight, go for the sensors. By far, that's the most delicate, critical and necessary part of a robot. You can cripple the whole robot by getting rid of one sensor. Never take your eye off a robot, even if it looks like it's down, because they can learn how to keep working even after they've lost limbs. Think of the Terminator - it learned how to drag itself after it lost its legs. And don't be afraid to make friends with the robot. Robots are generally there to help us.

How exactly do you propose making friends with a robot?

If you see an unfamiliar robot that you want to make friends with, approach slowly, with your palm out. The robot may sniff or lick your hand, but it's just getting to know you.

Jay Cridlin can be reached at cridlin@tampabay.com.

[Last modified July 1, 2007, 20:31:43]