Opening credits

The Rays gave us a big opening with their decision to show Night of the Living Dead after their Friday the 13th game with the Yankees.

By MARC TOPKIN
Published July 15, 2007

The Rays gave us a big opening with their decision to show Night of the Living Dead after their Friday the 13th game with the Yankees. So we thought we'd offer some suggestions for movie programming, with a Rays-related theme:

1. A Walk to Remember

Showings tend to start in the sixth or seventh innings, often around the bullpen area.

2. Saving Silverman

Guessing that most of team president Matt Silverman's Harvard classmates don't worry about things like Dioner Navarro's batting average.

3. Joe Versus the Volcano

As if manager Joe Maddon doesn't have enough problems with the Yankees, Red Sox and Angels.

4. Stuart Little

Owner Stuart Sternberg has implemented plenty of positive changes, but not among them, yet anyway, is a big payroll.

5. Life of Brian

The 1979 Monty Python film doesn't seem so silly crazy compared to Brian Stokes' season.

6. Amos & Andrew

It's not true, no matter how badly the Rays needed a centerfielder, that executive VP Andrew Friedman was talking to retired Royals star Amos Otis.

7. Young Guns

Stars Scott Kazmir and James Shields now, but the updated version could include Jeff Niemann, Wade Davis and Jake McGee.

8. I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

New Adam Sandler movie harkens to the glory years of Chuck LaMar and Larry Rothschild, when the Rays lost only 92-93 games a year.

9. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

And those are just the fans who keep e-mailing us with complaints about the manager.

10. I Know What You Did Last Summer

Starts out promising and features a few unexpected twists, but it seems like you always know how it ends.

Hold the date

It took the Phillies (and the Quakers, as they were known from 1883-89, and Blue Jays, in 1943-44) this deep into their 125th season to reach the much-heralded 10,000-loss mark, which is an average of 80 losses per season.

That's nothing compared to the Rays, who have averaged nearly 98 losses. The Rays (613-930 through Thursday) will log their 1,000th loss early next year - and at this rate sometime sooner - in their 11th season.

At that pace - assuming there is still life, still baseball and there are still newspapers to tell you about it - they'll match the Phillies early in their 103rd season, so let's say, April 13, 2100.

In their words

We weren't sure what to make of this photo of Jonny Gomes from his visit Wednesday to SeaWorld's Discovery Cove, so we showed it around the clubhouse to let his teammates tell us what they thought or what they thought he was thinking:

Nobody would do that but Gomes. - Don Zimmer, senior adviser

I think it's a boy. - Greg Norton

Jonny's trying to get his energy drink back. - Dustan Mohr

Say, aaahhh. - Joe Maddon, manager

Damn, that feels good. - Ron Porterfield, trainer

I don't know what to say - I'm jealous. - Ty Wigginton

Turn your head to the right and cough. - Norton

Poor travelers

The Rays head next weekend to New York, a fun place to visit but a tough place for them to play. Their five worst AL road stops:

City W-L Pct.

Oakland 10-35 .222

New York 20-55 .267

Boston 21-57 .269

Anaheim 13-32 .289

Texas 15-30 .333

Internet item of the week

A 2003 Rays road jersey - supposedly game-used (though not heavily) - by former reliever Bobby Seay, in size 50, is listed on eBay with a bid of $102.50.

[Last modified July 14, 2007, 21:55:29]