Five headlines for Bucs to avoid

Here are a few headlines the Bucs and coach Jon Gruden definitely want to avoid:

By JOANNE KORTH, Times staff writer
Published July 26, 2007

If you've seen running back Michael Pittman in person, you know he looks a lot like "The Thing" from the Fantastic Four.
	[Times photo: Brendan Fitterer (2006)]

ADVERTISEMENT [AP photo (2006)] If you think you're head is already spinning with all the Bucs' quarterback storylines, what happens if Jake Plummer decides he wants to start for the Bucs? [Times photo: Bill Serne (2006)] One Buc Palace sure is nice, but as any homeowner can tell you, if you're out of compliance with the building and zoning totalitarians, you could have big problems.

 The Bucs will make plenty of headlines when the players actually take the field beginning Friday at Disney's Wide World of Sports complex near Orlando. Some of the news will be positive, some negative. Here are a few headlines the Bucs and coach Jon Gruden definitely want to avoid:

1. Jake Plummer shows up, demands starting job.

If you think you're head is already spinning with all the Bucs' quarterback storylines, what happens if this one transpires? Plummer is on the roster, but no one expects him to come anywhere near training camp. Football appears to be the furthest thing from his mind right now, and judging by his comments in the past, the last thing he wants to do is put himself in the middle of a situation where he'll have little chance of cracking the lineup. But if he showed up, it sure would make for interesting reading, wouldn't it? Be careful what you wish for, Jon.

2. Jeff Garcia suffers season-ending injury.

We don't mean to jinx the guy, but we're just saying, 'What if?' The Bucs, after all, know this is always a possibility given their history of quarterback injuries. If anything did happen to Garcia, that would be bad news for all involved. The Bucs are staking so much of their hopes for offensive improvement on the play of Garcia. If he were to sustain a major injury, that could press Bruce Gradkowski back into service, and we saw how well that worked out last season: he was benched for the final 1 1/2 games. The last thing he can afford is to lose Garcia.

3. Receiver Joey Galloway retires; joins champion Arena team.

Maybe you've heard Joey Galloway has an ownership stake in the Columbus Destroyers of the Arena Football League. And they're having one heck of a season, having advanced to Sunday's Arena Bowl in New Orleans. Galloway is likely to be excused from practice for the day to be at the game. If they win it all, Gruden is sure hoping Galloway won't decide he really wants to pursue that championship he's never won in 12 NFL seasons - with the Destroyers. What would that make him? A player-owner?

4. Michael Pittman injured in weight room mishap.

Running back Pittman is one of the Bucs' more versatile players. So it would probably make Gruden crazy to learn that Pittman tore one of his incredibly large biceps doing curls with 500-pound dumbbells. If you've seen this guy in person, you know he looks a lot like "The Thing" from the Fantastic Four. Sometimes, we wonder how all that muscle doesn't slow him down. Anyway, let's just hope he's careful in the weight room.

5. Permit snafus send Bucs back to old One Buc Place.

One Buc Palace sure is nice, but as any homeowner can tell you, if you're out of compliance with the building and zoning totalitarians, you could have big problems. Say goodbye to the 30,000-square-foot weight room, the underwater treadmills in the training room, and the state-of-the-art locker room in which each locker has an individual venting system (so it doesn't smell so much like, um, a locker room). And say hello to the old trailer park.

NFL

1. Michael Vick guilty

The Falcons have a public relations nightmare on their hands either way, but if Vick is convicted in the federal dogfighting case it will be a terrible blight on the league.

2. Vince Young injured

Titans quarterback Vince Young was the NFL's rookie of the year in 2006. He has two jinxes to overcome this season: being a sophomore and being on the cover of Maddon 2008.

3. Bill Parcells returns

Please, no more Tuna.

4. Tony Dungy retires

The league desperately needs this good guy.

5. NFC forfeits Super Bowl

The bullies from the AFC have won four straight, five of the past seven, eight of the past 10. Really, what's the point?

- Stephen Holder and Joanne Korth, Times staff writers

[Last modified July 26, 2007, 06:52:05]