Community, nation to join mom for goodbye

A grand memorial is set for Saturday in honor of Pfc. Cody Grater.

By Chandra Broadwater, Times Staff Writer
Published August 10, 2007

To better see the piece of paper with her son Pfc. Cody Grater's funeral schedule, Anita Lewis tilts it into the window light at her Spring Hill home. Sgt. Robert Bailey, left, a casualty assistance officer based at MacDill Airforce base, helps Lewis sort through the details as he has been doing since Grater fell.
	[Danny Ghitis | Times]

ADVERTISEMENT [Danny Ghitis | Times] Support for Pfc. Cody Grater's family has come in a number of ways, including letters from family, friends, fellow soldiers and their families. Anita Lewis, Grater's mother, opens a new bundle at her Spring Hill home. [Danny Ghitis | Times] A package containing several awards to be presented at Pfc. Cody Grater's funeral service this Saturday included the soldier's Purple Heart and Bronze Star. » If you go Funeral and procession Pfc. Cody Grater's funeral will begin at 10 a.m. Saturday at Spring Hill Baptist Church, 3140 Mariner Blvd. A procession to the Florida National Cemetery in Bushnell will follow. Residents are encouraged to show support by lining up anywhere along the route with American flags. The route is as follows: • Begins at the corner of Mariner Boulevard and Linden Drive (Spring Hill Baptist Church). North on Mariner to east on Elgin Boulevard. Follows Elgin (which turns into Powell Road) to U.S. 41. • Heads north on U.S. 41 and makes a right on State Road 50A, which turns into SR 50 east. • Follows SR 50 to Interstate 75, and to the well-marked exit for Florida National Cemetery. Celebration of life On Sunday, family and friends are invited to Pioneer Park, also known as Stewy's Skate Park, at 6799 Pinehurst Drive, Spring Hill. Food and refreshments will be provided at the gathering, which will be from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Guests are also encouraged to bring donations that can be sent to Grater's unit in Iraq. Items include: wet naps, eyedrops, lip balm, sunblock, foot powder, beef jerky, cookies, hard candy and energy bars. For more information on the Sunday ceremonies, call Fred Glass at (352) 442-0238.

SPRING HILL - Sgt. Robert Bailey has been in the Army for 15 years. He has been to Afghanistan and will go to Iraq the day after Thanksgiving. He knows what it is like to leave behind his wife and stepson to face war.

But this is a new challenge. For the first time, he has been assigned as a casualty assistance officer.

Since July 29, when a rocket-propelled grenade killed 20-year-old Pfc. Cody Grater in Iraq, Bailey, part of the Joint Communications Support Element from MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, has spent most every waking moment attending to some detail of the Spring Hill soldier's death.

That includes coordinating the arrival times of generals from MacDill who will be present at the funeral; what organizations like the Florida Patriot Riders can do to help; where the Treats for Troops members can send their cookies; and what the family has to do about all of Grater's belongings still in Fort Bragg, N.C., where he was based.

Then there's the funeral itself.

"Only four friends and family can speak? I don't think so, there's going to be more people than that," said Grater's mother, Anita Lewis, as she and Bailey went over the lineup of Saturday's service in her living room. "You'd better organize it so more people can talk. Do you know how many people are going to be there?"

A few moments later, she smiled and said of the 38-year-old Bailey: "He's my new roommate, you know."

Bailey drives up and down the highways to Spring Hill and back, with his thick black folder and pages of notes scribbled with the names, phone numbers and e-mails of all those around the country who have sent their love - sometimes neatly sealed in sympathy cards, or tucked into packages sent to Grater's unit in Iraq.

Grater was at the halfway point of his 14-month tour of duty and had just been home on leave before going back to Iraq, where he was killed a little more than a week later.

Since his death, the family has received official word on how he was killed. He died at 1:29 p.m. that Sunday in the 28th Combat Support Hospital, after the flying grenade hit near where he stood on guard duty on the rooftop of his outpost in the Adhamiyah District in Baghdad. Another soldier, whose condition is unknown, was injured in the explosion.

In the past 12 days, Bailey has watched Lewis live the roller coaster a mother faces when her child dies. She might be able to speak about her son in one moment, but in the next be inconsolable.

He knows of the pain that resides in the heart of Larry Decker, Grater's stepfather, who stays strong for everyone else. And words cannot describe watching 14-year-old Cheyanne Decker, who masks her true feelings, just like her father.

Like them, Bailey feels overwhelmed to the cascade of support from the local community and their military family abroad.

Trying to get Cheyanne to crack a smile Thursday, he plopped down next to her on the couch. Lewis was busy on the phone while others talked about tribute tattoos they planned to get.

He whispered something in her ear and soon her lips parted to reveal a grin.

"We get 24-hour-a-day service out of him," Cheyanne said, laughing. "He does whatever we want him to do."

Lewis asked him to bring her son back to life.

"He said he's working on that one," the mother said, giving him another smile.

It was hard watching his fellow soldier's flag-draped coffin arrive at the Hernando County Airport on Sunday morning. But Bailey forced himself to keep it together, keeping steadfast for the family.

He said it will be even harder to keep his emotions in check at he funeral.

"It feels like it's your brother," he said.

Chandra Broadwater can be reached at cbroadwater@sptimes.com or (352) 848-1432.

[Last modified August 9, 2007, 22:08:31]