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By TIMES WIRES
Published August 18, 2007

SPECIAL REPORT:

Stupid criminals, there's no sense in robbing a poor nun

A man in Madison, Wis., broke into a house and demanded that the woman there give him money. He hadn't counted on the fact that he was breaking into the home of a Sinsinawa Dominican nun and that she had taken a vow of poverty. Not only did she have no money, but she had no access to money. So he made her drive around town for almost an hour trying to decide what to do next. Finally, he apologized and asked if she and the church would forgive him. She dropped him off, then called the police. The man has been arrested, but not charged.

Shoplifter thinks she has sanctuary

Jazmine Roberts seemed to think she had found a loophole in the whole purchasing-goods system. According to police in White Plains, N.Y., Roberts, 19, was observed shoplifting a $251 pair of jeans at Neiman Marcus. Security guards tailed her, and descended upon her as soon as she left the store. She threw a fit, according to the Lower Hudson Journal News, and told the guard that he was outside his jurisdiction. "It's too late, I already left the store," she told them, apparently likening it to crossing an international border. Police informed her that, technically, she hadn't committed a crime until she left the store.

Some burglars will just want more

A woman who owns a cottage in Brunswick, Germany, thought she could fend off burglars by leaving them a little something outside. She thought they might appreciate a few cans of food, so she left those on her doorstep with a note telling potential burglars to take the food and not to bother breaking in. They took the food, but they broke in looking for more. "The perpetrators not only took the canned foods but broke open the door and took cucumber salad and sausages," the police said in a statement.

Armed with fries, he stops punk thief

Marvin Meteer was finishing up a long day selling french fries at the Fireman's Carnival in Wyalusing, Pa., when a tanked teen tried to take off with the till. Knowing that the amount he was about to lose was no small potatoes, Meteer acted fast, with the only weapon he had: french fries. According to the Star-Gazette of Elmira, N.Y., as the teen tried to sneak out under the table, Meteer took a basket full of freshly greasy spuds and heaved them over the table. "He hit those fries and they were just greasy enough that he started to slip and slide," Meteer said, giving him time to catch him and retrieve the cash box. "The first thing he said was, 'It wasn't me. I didn't do it.' I just said, 'Right.' "

Hmm, is it okay to steal deodorant?

Don't know how to feel about this one. A shoplifter in Newburgh, N.Y., was caught trying to shoplift deodorant, reports the Times-Herald Record of Hudson Valley. Stealing is bad, but it's hard to get too down on someone who wants some deodorant. But then, he's accused of trying to steal 21 sticks, including men's and women's variety, so police think he was more likely to try to sell it than use it. Apparently, some necessary items have a pretty high resale value on the streets of Newburgh.

Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at jwebster@sptimes.com.

[Last modified August 18, 2007, 01:14:34]