Sports

No pigskin makes for a long summer

By DAVE MURPHY
Published August 31, 2007

---

ADVERTISEMENT

One of the never-ending perks of a life spent covering high school sports is the daily opportunity to explain to people what, exactly, it is that you do during the summer.

Easily put?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Sure, there is the occasional eight-hour lunch. And the weekly interdepartmental road race from Brooksville to New Port Richey.

But, by and large, covering high school sports in the summer is like diving for sunken treasure in Kansas.

So, without further adieu, let me assure you:

I'm tired.

I'm tired of organizing my paperclips.

I'm tired of staring at the wall.

I'm tired of Matt Leinart's baby mama drama.

I'm tired of Nicole Richie's baby papa drama.

I'm tired of Jon Gruden's quarterback drama.

I'm tired of Michael Vick's recreational activities.

I'm tired of Arthur Blank.

I'm tired of PETA.

I'm tired of Barry Bonds.

I'm tired of Balco.

I'm tired of Bud Selig.

I'm tired of wondering whether any record is sacred.

I'm tired of Afghanistan.

I'm tired of Iraq.

I'm tired of Lindsay Lohan.

I'm tired of wondering which will be easier to save.

I'm tired of Joe Morgan.

I'm tired of paying a $243 electric bill.

I'm tired of trying to pick which annoys me more.

I'm tired of the NFL preseason.

I'm tired of the Little League postseason.

I'm most tired of hurricane season.

I'm tired of looking at the weather forecast and seeing "95 degrees and humid."

Every.

Single.

Day.

I'm tired of wondering who will get another 10,000 losses first: the Phillies or the Devil Rays.

I'm tired of terrorist threats that don't pan out.

I'm more tired of terrorist threats that do pan out.

I'm tired of the elderly lady who is driving 10 miles an hour too slowly directly in front of me.

I'm more tired of the fact that she has a nicer car than I do.

I'm tired of Chinese toothpaste.

I'm tired of California spinach.

I'm tired that, for a brief period in my life, two of the healthiest things I do - eat my vegetables and brush my teeth - could have killed me.

I think the worst case of gingivitis is more fun than the best case of being dead.

I'm tired of Harry Potter.

I'm glad he may be dead.

I'm tired of reality television.

I'm tired of American Idol.

I'm tired of iPhones.

I'm tired of American idols.

I'm tired of soccer.

I'm tired of David Beckham.

I'm tired of Victoria Beckham.

Wait.

No, I'm not.

I'm tired of Dale Earnhardt Jr.

I'm tired of Teresa Earnhardt.

I'm tired of NASCAR in general.

I'm ready for Friday nights, and fluorescent lights, and helmets on helmets, and pads on pads, and hotdogs that seem to taste better when they're cooked by someone else, and cans of Coke, and cheerleaders, and marching bands, and radio broadcasters who obviously didn't go to radio broadcasting school, and PA announcers who obviously didn't go to PA announcing school, and fourth and inches, and third and long, and going for two when you should have just gone for one, just because you can.

I'm ready for football.

I'm ready for high school football.

David Murphy can be reached at dmurphy@sptimes.com

[Last modified August 29, 2007, 13:39:39]

[an error occurred while processing this directive]