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Foundations for the future

A weekend seminar focuses on building and maintaining strong relationships.

By WAVENEY ANN MOORE, Times Staff Writer
Published September 26, 2007

ADVERTISEMENT [Special to the Times] Jim and Melissa Myers have attended classes throughout their 25 years of marriage.

SEMINOLE - Earlier this year, two local agencies announced plans to use a $5.5-million federal grant to build healthy marriages and relationships in Pinellas and Manatee counties.

Since then, they have held seminars at churches and community centers. Now the two agencies, Family Resources Inc. and the Marriage and Family Center, have planned a large community event Saturday at St. Petersburg College's Seminole campus.

Enrollment has not been as high as hoped, but organizers say those interested can still register for the all-day conference, which will deal with topics such as how to cope with in-laws, discuss finances and handle adolescents and teens.

Registered nurse and humorist Julia Riley will give the keynote talk. Riley said conferences such as this provide important grounding for relationships.

"It's a good investment in your future, so you have some skills for tough times," said Riley, who is based in Ellenton.

Treasure Island couple Melissa and Jim Myers have been doing just that. They attended marriage enrichment classes just before they got married 25 years ago and have continued to seek out similar programs through the years, Melissa Myers said.

"It's kind of preventive medicine. There are tough times that everybody faces, and every now and then you need a little refresher course," she said.

"We always felt like the best gift that we could give our children were parents that were happy and that loved each other and so we always made time for one another."

The couple, parents of Sara Beth, 19, and Jim, 21, recently attended one of the relationship seminars organized by Family Resources and the Marriage and Family Center. The class was held at Northwest Church of Christ in St. Petersburg, which they attend.

"We really liked it, plus it was fun to go in and see all of those young couples. It reminded us of back in the day," said Myers, who is 45. Her husband is 48.

"It talked a lot of having fun together and not necessarily spending a lot of money," she said.

"They also said to talk in a respectful way to one another. We did a lot of different exercises. It's like marriage aerobics."

In a telephone interview, Riley, the keynote speaker, said humor "is a valuable tool in helping people to cope with the stresses of relationships."

At this weekend's workshop, she'll talk about the health benefit of laughter and humor and the distinction between negative and positive humor, Riley said.

"Victor Borge said, 'Laughter is the shortest distance between two people,'" she said. "Another important piece is to be able to laugh at yourself."

Certain rules apply when dealing with in-laws, she said.

"You need to honor that this is your spouse's parent. It's about 'I can make fun of my mother, but you can't,"' she said.

Riley who has a master's degree in psychiatric/mental health nursing, described money as "the great divide."

"Never share a checkbook on the same account," she advised, adding also that it's important to budget for play and relaxation.

The agencies organizing Saturday's conference began offering relationship seminars in March, targeting couples, married and unmarried, singles and groups such as childbirth educators, parent-teacher associations, high schools, colleges, hospitals, senior citizen groups, day care centers and health clubs. The focus is on prevention and strengthening families, organizers say.

"The concept of relationship education is new to most individuals and couples and is certainly a novel concept as far as being considered to be normative for our culture," said Carol Jones, program manager with Marriage and Family Center, which has offices in St. Petersburg and Clearwater.

"We expect that it will be years before relationship preparation and education, like drivers' education or other activities that we prepare for in formal and informal ways, becomes the generally accepted norm or standard," said Jones, a registered nurse with a master's degree in theology.

Money for the five-year project is being provided from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' agency for Administration for Children and Families.

When they applied for the grant, officials from Family Resources, whose offices are in Pinellas and Manatee counties, and the Marriage and Family Center cited statistics showing that Manatee and Pinellas counties have more domestic violence, crime and teen pregnancy than other parts of Florida.

Waveney Ann Moore can be reached at wmoore@sptimes.com or 727 892-2283.

IF YOU GO

Better bonds

"Mission Possible: It's all About Relationships," 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, St. Petersburg College, Seminole campus, 9200 113th St., Seminole. Registration begins at 8:15 a.m. For continuing education credit, register online at www.spcollege.edu/AC/CE. Cost is $25 for one person and $35 per couple and includes materials, continental breakfast and lunch. Call 341-4548 or 341-3451.

[Last modified September 25, 2007, 21:53:01]