Print

Email story

Comment

Letter to the editor

Sometimes women need a little Finesse

Advice is best when it comes from an expert. Finesse Mitchell hopes women who need dating advice will turn to him. After all, he is a guy.

By Dalia Wheatt, Times Staff Writer
Published November 5, 2007

Your Girlfriends Only Know So Much: A Brother’s Take on Dating and Mating for Sistas
By Finesse Mitchell
Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 208 pages, $21.95

- - - 

Ladies, if you're deciding which Dancing With the Stars contestant deserves your vote, ask a girlfriend. But if you're wondering whether to go out with that dude from the bar, ask a guy.

Finesse Mitchell wants to be that guy.

So he wrote a book, Your Girlfriends Only Know So Much: A Brother's Take on Dating and Mating for Sistas, due out Tuesday. It's published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment, the folks who brought us He's Just Not That Into You.

Mitchell, 35, of Miramar has gained a female following with his advice column in Essence, a magazine that targets black women. He also said he's the go-to guy when his female friends need dating advice.

The book is aimed at African-American women, Mitchell's fan base, but despite its title, his humorous advice will ring true for women - and men - of all races.

Mitchell made a name for himself on Saturday Night Live from 2003 to 2006. He plays a coach in the sports comedy The Comebacks, released Oct. 19, and he stars in the crime comedy Mad Money, coming in January.

The comedian is also working on setting a wedding date with his fiancee, Jessica Santos, to whom his book is dedicated.

Mitchell called the Times to give the dish on love.

What's unique about Florida men that women need to know?

I think Florida men have it real good. And I think we have it really good simply because, since it's always so warm here, either you want to work out or you don't want to work out. But you can't say it's too cold to work out. Whereas people up North? You ask them about working out, they look at you like you crazy. Like, "Why get started? Pretty soon I'm not going to be able to go." So I guess Florida men are very spoiled, and the ones that know they're a catch - a lot of women will agree with me here - the ones that know they're a catch, they act like it.

You said you have all these girlfriends - platonic friends. If a guy says they're just friends, can you believe him?

Of course. There's nothing to question until you see something to question, because men love confident women. Men love secure women. . . . These girls are friends for a reason. . . . Something about them and you was dangerous. Dangerously wrong. You both recognized it and you said, "You know what? You're my buddy."

Who was your first girlfriend, and what did she do right?

Rosegenee. I was like 13. She could sing, and she loved to sing over the telephone. She was very active, very athletic. So when we roughhoused, it wasn't a problem. And she always smelled good. And she was a great kisser.

All those things would still be much appreciated today?

Yeah. Men don't change.

What are mistakes women make on a date?

I think the biggest mistake women make on dates is not being themselves and not calling somebody on something that they heard, that they tried to act like they didn't hear. You know how sometimes you hear something and all of a sudden your spidey sense starts tingling? Like, "Whoa whoa, wait a minute. But he's still so cute. He smells so good." And you act like you didn't hear something that's going to bother you later, if you really start to like this guy.

According to your book, a man's priorities go like this: making money, sex, eating and sleeping. How can women use this information to their advantage?

Men love sex. And just like you, we would prefer money over being broke. Sleeping: We don't like to clean up if we were sleeping and you woke us up. And eating: If you can cook, that's more than a plus. . . . If women can consciously make an effort to be like, "Yo, if I can't make no money, I'm going to help him make some money." 'Cause we all want to make money, so we want to be encouraged. And then at the same time, when it comes to sex, that's No. 1. . . . They don't sneak out of the house to go to the library and read a book with their favorite person.

Dalia Wheatt can be reached at dwheatt@tampabay.com.

[Last modified November 2, 2007, 16:57:21]