tampabay.com

The skinny

By Times wires
Published November 8, 2007


TRIPLE BACON

No, She did not want to supersize that

For Michelle Schmitz of Minnesota, a fat pig is nothing to laugh at. Particularly not when it's her pig. Schmitz left her 5-year-old mixed breed pot-bellied pig, Alaina Templeton, in the care of co-worker Mary Beesecker for nine months while she (Michelle, not Alaina) was recovering from ankle surgery. In those nine months, Alaina, above, foraged for cat food and chicken feed outdoors at Beesecker's farm and - ready? - TRIPLED in size, from 50 pounds to 150. Schmitz complained and Beesecker faces a misdemeanor charge of animal cruelty. Alaina Templeton, back with Schmitz since last week, has been placed on a diet and an exercise regimen and has lost 15 pounds. She also needed surgery to remove a collar that had become embedded in her fat neck.

1-800-BAD-IDEA

There's love there, just not that kind

When a church treasurer in Valley Cottage, N.Y., walked in on a burglar who was using the phone in an office, she did the love-and-forgiveness thing and asked him to leave. When it happened again a few days later, this time in a basement area used as a nursery, she called 911. James Macnair, a homeless 35-year-old, was charged with burglary, possession of burglary tools and petty larceny. Oh, who was he calling? Let's just say the person on the other end made him feel loved, too.

POPULAR POLITICIAN

They really, really wanted their guy

John Jenkins of Auburn, Maine, must be feeling pretty popular these days. Jenkins had decided not to run for mayor again because it was taking too much time away from his day job. So his name wasn't on the ballot Tuesday. That is until 2,166 people wrote it on there as a write-in candidate. Jenkins, who got more votes than the two guys who actually wanted the job put together, has agreed to serve again. One of the other guys is questioning the legality of the vote. We're thinking the sore-loser attitude might have a little to do with why he lost to a guy who wasn't even running.

LAW AND ORDER

400 years ago, it seemed a nice idea

Given a short list of ancient British laws that were never repealed, 3,931 Brits polled for UKTV Gold television said these were among the most absurd:

-It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

-In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

-Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day.

-A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet.

-It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but fine not to tell him things you don't mind him knowing.