Sharing a life's pain
By EILEEN SCHULTE, Times Staff Writer
Published November 20, 2007
It's been exactly eight months and 23 days since Steve Stanton was fired from his job as Largo's city manager.
He was escorted out of City Hall by some of the same officers he hired during his 17 years on the job.
That hurt, Stanton told a group at a transgender remembrance day service at Unity Church of Clearwater on Monday.
Now known as Susan Stanton, she counts each day since the dismissal, when the greatest test of her will and strength began.
During that time, she has been searching to find employment.
She applied for a job in Berkeley, Calif., but the fit wasn't right.
In despair, she drove to the Golden Gate Bridge, where many people choose to end their pain.
She stood there in a "deep, dark hole." She said she felt she had no future.
"You can feel the environment," she said, "and that you want to jump into the hands of God."
But she didn't. And on Monday night, she spoke to an audience of some 150 people about her struggle to transform herself from a man to a woman.
Earlier in the day, Stanton was struggling with what to wear. She knew she wanted to wear black, but all her black dresses were too dressy for the occasion. So she wore a smart black pantsuit with patent leather heels. She wore a delicate gold anklet and a dainty gold chain around her neck.
Through the strands of highlighted hair you could see her sparkling gold and diamond earrings.
Her blond hair was stylish and curled at the ends. Her pedicure was perfect, complete with burgundy polish. Her fingernails gleamed as though she had just left the manicurist.
Slender and soft-spoken, she appeared as feminine as most women in the audience who had come to hear her speak.
"It's not like I'm going to walk around looking like Aunt Bea," she told the Times earlier in the day. "I'm not out mowing the lawn in a dress. Sometimes I put on a T-shirt and shorts."
She is living in Sarasota, takes female hormones and has joined a health club.
There is one downside to taking the hormones, she said with a laugh. "Without the hormones I could bench-press 90 to 120 pounds," she said. "With the hormones, I can bench 20 pounds."
Stanton is scheduled to have her first mammogram today. In May, she will travel to Phoenix for sex reassignment surgery.
Although the experience Stanton has endured is painful, she said it has brought her closer to her family, especially her son, one of her biggest supporters.
The Rev. Abhi Janamanchi, who helped organize the event, was pleased with how it turned out.
"Susan's sharing was very poignant," he said. "I was delighted that she conveyed a sense of hope and a sense of joy about who she is and that she is living her life with integrity."
Eileen Schulte can be reached at schulte@sptimes.com or (727) 445-4153.