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By Times Wires
Published December 13, 2007

Jurisimprudence

Labels suggest sense may not be so common

The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch has announced the winners of its 11th annual "Wacky Warning Label Contest," a contest designed to illustrate the effect of "ridiculous" lawsuits on America's civil justice system. Without further ado:

Winner: "Danger: Avoid Death," on a small tractor.

Second place: "Do not iron while wearing shirt," on an iron-on T-shirt transfer.

Third place: "Do not put child in bag," on a baby stroller that features a small storage pouch.

Honorable mention: "Caution: Safety goggles recommended," on a letter opener.

Honorable mention: "The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents." For those who weren't sure.

Astronomical fine

Priest's sentence is more like penance

When the Rev. Jose Cornejo told Judge Manuel Perez he couldn't afford the $100 fine that was the normal punishment for illegal parking in Puerto Montt, Chile, Perez came up with an alternative sentence. "He will have to recite seven psalms," Perez said. Every day, for three months. And a court official will be assigned to check in on him to make sure he's doing it, too. But if you thought Perez pulled this idea out of thin air, think again. "I did it as a tribute to Galileo Galilei, who received a similar sentence from the Catholic Church for saying the Earth rotates around the sun." Which was really the 17th century equivalent of illegal parking.

Decorations

Someone is gilding the Garden State

Someone is sprucing up New Jersey's Garden State Parkway for the holidays, adding ornaments to the pine trees along the highway. Who is guilty of this act of immense spirit? "It's a mystery to us," said State Police Capt. Al Della Fave. But is there at least a working theory on the responsible party? "This is probably some guy whose wife finally said 'Enough!'" said Joseph Orlando, a New Jersey Turnpike Authority spokesman.

Crime, punishment

Robbery victim inspired by YouTube

The Dunkin' Donuts in Elmwood Park, N.J., has a security camera, but the camera seems to have had an unintended effect. When the store was being robbed over the weekend, a strange thought went through the mind of employee Dustin Hoffmann no, not that Dustin Hoffman. Hoffmann worried about how he would look on YouTube. So instead of waiting patiently for the guy to leave, "I just grabbed the (coffee) cup and clocked the guy pretty hard," he told the Record of Bergen County. The guy got away with $90, but Hoffmann got his video. "There are only a few videos like that on YouTube now, so mine's going to be the best. That'll teach this guy."

Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at jwebster@sptimes.com.

[Last modified December 13, 2007, 00:24:35]