Our 'Dancing with the Stars' lineup

By Jennifer DeCamp, Jessica Parker Gilbert and Holly Braford
Published December 20, 2007

The ballroom has gone dark. The pop princess and race car driver have returned to their real lives. Yet, we can't stop talking about Dancing With the Stars. Maybe it's knowing the latter half of the scripted TV season is doomed because of the writers strike and soon we'll be bombarded with reality junk featuring lie detectors, gladiators and - heaven forbid - more Donald Trump. But Dancing turns up each season like a reliable best friend, spewing sex appeal, comedy and, of course, dancing. So to make it easy on ABC, which hasn't yet announced the next cast of "stars," we offer our picks for the next round of sure-footed hoofers. Got a suggestion of your own? Let us know in the comments section below.

The women

Judith Light

Finally, we'll have the oldest female star tying on her dancing shoes. Take that, Jane Seymour.

Famous for: Starring as the ultimate boss Angela with Tony Danza on Who's the Boss. Currently plays the booze-loving, murdering mom on Ugly Betty (Yes, another ABC show).

We'd pair her with: Jonathan Roberts. He gets all the matronly broads.

Mia Hamm

Her quick footwork on the soccer field might be a breath of fresh air compared with Floyd Mayweather's stiff, lumbering movements.

Famous for: Led the U.S. women's soccer team to a gold medal in Athens at the 2004 Summer Olympics.

We'd pair her with: Louis van Amstel. Let's see if she can handle his choreography.

Lisa Ling

She spoke to us in home room, now she can speak to us from the dance floor.

Famous for: She left The View before the getting got good. Now her career could use a boost.

We'd pair her with: Alec Mazo. Love him, love his hair, plus he deserves a partner who's not a model.

Bridget Moynahan

This former model will so rock the sympathy vote after giving birth to Tom Brady's son after he traded her in for new babe Gisele Bundchen.

Famous for: Starred in numerous tabloid pictures with the Pats record-breaking quarterback.

We pair her with: Hottie Maksim Chmerkovskiy. Tom Brady who?

Tiffany

Let's be honest. We needed a washed-up former singer who's infatuated with reality shows (see Hit Me Baby One More Time and Celebrity Fit Club).

Famous for: Singing treacly ballads about love lost (Could've Been) and bringing the swinging '60s to hip '80s clubs (I Think We're Alone Now).

We'd pair her with: Mark Ballas. He's moved on from the young pop princess to the more mature pop queen.

Gabrielle Carteris

Has there been a season without a former 90210 star? If it seems like we're scraping the bottom of the barrel, we are; Shannen Doherty turned us down.

Famous for: Playing the uber-nerd Andrea Zuckerman on 90210.

We'd pair her with: Derek Hough. Got to keep it in the 90210 family. Hopefully Jennie Garth will be in the audience cheering her on.

The men

Alice Cooper

Not only will he do his own makeup, but his theatricality could make Marie Osmond's fainting scene seem like a distant memory.

Famous for: Combining horror with rock 'n' roll.

We'd pair him with: Julianne Hough. Let's see if she can be the first three-time champion with Cooper at her side.

Dylan and Cole Sprouse

Who? They're on the Disney Channel and they have a large fan base of tweens. And did we mention that ABC owns the Disney Channel?

Famous for: Playing twins Zach and Cody on The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. We'll take either, they are twins.

We'd pair him/them with: Edyta Sliwinska. This is just for our amusement, as her long-limbed build will tower over these tweenybopper stars.

Willard Scott

One word: transformation. There needs to be at least one person we're sure can't dance, so the judges can act surprised by how well he did.

Famous for: Today Show weatherman who now shills for Smuckers and the centenarians.

We'd pair him with: Kym Johnson. If she could handle Jerry Springer, Willard Scott's sunshine-filled attitude should be a walk in the park.

Alfonso Ribeiro

It's not Break Dancing With the Stars, but there's no doubt his days of breakin' and a poppin' will come in handy. Just look up his earlier work on You Tube. (Search for "breakin and poppin" to catch Ribeiro's infomercial homage to Michael Jackson.)

Famous for: Playing Will Smith's straight-arrow brother Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

We'd pair him with: Cheryl Burke. She needs a good partner to recover from Wayne Newton's two left feet. Hopefully Cheryl can do a head spin.

K-Fed

Fills the need for one washed-up musician, er, back-up dancer.

Famous for: He's the ex-Mr. Britney Spears.

We'd pair him with: Karina Smirnoff. Could K-Fed be the next Mario Lopez?

Steve Burton

Paging one hunky ABC soap star - stat!

Famous for: Has played Jason Quartermaine Morgan for 12 years on General Hospital.

We'd pair him with: Ashly DelGrosso. Her feisty energy might prove the perfect foil to his casual demeanor.

[Last modified December 19, 2007, 17:08:04]