Column

Struggling dad needs the gift of work

By ERNEST HOOPER
Published December 22, 2007

A staffing agency waited for Michael Dermgrdichian to make his interview appointment Wednesday, but Dermgrdichian never got there.

Instead, he sat at home with his 4-year-old daughter, sent home from pre-K because of a stomach problem.

Once again, the situation left Dermgrdichian struggling to hold it all together.

In the wake of a severe stroke that has crippled his wife, the sole bread winner for the family of six, Dermgrdichian is desperate to get a job.

But how can he when child care issues keep arising and there's no extended family to step in and lend a hand?

"What am I going to do, take my sick kid on a job interview?" Dermgrdichian asked. "It just never ends. I don't get a chance to breathe."

Up until November, life was good for Dermgrdichian, who turned 39 on Friday. He played Mr. Mom and took care of the kids while his 31-year-old wife Uilani worked as a home health nurse.

"That was how she wanted it," Michael said. "I've been taking care of them all their lives, especially in the last six months. So they're used to me. It worked out pretty good in that aspect."

Then Uilani came home one day in a strange state. Michael said she was incoherent, babbling about people walking by. Michael insisted she get medical help while he stayed with the kids, which included an 11-month-old daughter.

"She drove herself to the hospital and I never heard from her again."

Doctors told Michael that his wife had a stroke in the emergency room. She will recover to some degree, but likely will never be the same.

"She doesn't realize the severity of the situation, and she walks around with a big smile on her face," Michael said of Uilani. "She doesn't have any depth to her. She doesn't have an idea of what's going on."

Michael says she needs to be moved from Tampa General Hospital to a nursing home, but Uilani had no insurance. He thinks about bringing her home instead of a nursing home, but first he has to get a job so he can possibly hire an in-home nurse while still lending support to the kids.

Michelle, 11, attends Adams Middle School and helps out when she can. Sammy, 6, is a spirited kindergartner at Forest Hills Elementary. Sarah, 4, and Britney, 11 months, are bright lights but both suffer from disabilities related to being born prematurely.

"I've been telling them everything is going to be okay," Michael explained. "I'm an expert at covering it all up. I've been whitewashing it.

"But they don't deserve this."

Concerned social workers and friends are rallying to help Michael. Renee Walker, director of the Sylvia Thomas Center, a nonprofit agency, has agreed to set up a special account for Michael's family, primarily to help with future child care expenses. The center supports foster kids and the families that adopt them, but here's the connection: Thomas died from a stroke at a relatively young age.

Donations can be mailed to the "Michael D. Fund," care of the center at P.O. Box 488, Mango, FL., 33550. For more information, call (813) 651-3150 after the holidays.

Michael said the help would be appreciated, but more than anything he wants to work.

"It's like the whole house just fell down on us," Michael said. "It's like we got hit by an earthquake. I'm having to re-do everything and rebuild everything."

[Last modified December 22, 2007, 00:18:45]