Joy to the world, the carols have come!

This week's electronic conversation between John Romano and Gary Shelton offers their second annual alternative lyrics to Christmas carols.

By GARY SHELTON and JOHN ROMANO
Published December 23, 2007

To the tune of Happy Xmas (War is Over):

GS: And so this is Christmas

And look at your Bucs

They're gritty and scrappy

With a nice dose of pluck

JR: And so this is Christmas

The record's no crock

They've destroyed Atlanta

All praise be Spurlock

To the tune of It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year:

JR: It's the most wonderful time of the year

With rookies worth staring

And Jon Gruden swearing

You cover your ears

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

GS: It's the hap-happiest season of all

With Garcia scrambling

And Graham still rambling

And Trueblood willing to brawl

It's the hap-happiest season of all

To the tune of White Christmas:

GS: I'm dreaming of a Giants playoff

With every column that I write

Where Eli stumbles, and Coughlin bumbles

And Adrian Peterson's nowhere in sight

JR: I'm dreaming of a Giants playoff

With every player that I slight

May your fumbles come left and right

And may all you Giants fans bite

To the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer:

JR: You know Booger and Lee Roy

And Shelton and Donnie

Ronde and Warren

And Dexter and Hardy

But do you recall

The most famous Buccaneer of all ...

Derrick the hard-nosed linebacker

Had a very flashy game

And if you ever saw him

You would say nothing's changed

GS: All of the all-star voters

Seemed to scoff and call him old

They didn't ask poor Derrick

To play in their silly Pro Bowl

To the tune of Blue Christmas:

GS: It'll be a blue playoff without Sim

The Bucs are getting by without him

Guys like Adams and White have the pass rush well in place

But I still miss the guy who came from outer space

JR: And when those whistles start a-blowin'

And the Giants' rears start a-showin'

You'll be doing fine with your new defensive line

But I'll have a blue, blue playoff without Sim

To the tune of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas:

JR: Have yourself a merry division title

Let your inner geek fly

From now on

It's on every T-shirt you buy

GS: Have yourself a merry division title

Though the other teams stunk

It doesn't matter

That you're ruling on a pile of junk

To the tune of We Three Kings of Orient Are:

GS: We three subs of nowheresville are

Playing like some forgotten stars

Penn and Graham, White and mayhem

Helping the Bucs go far

JR: O, sub of Best Buy, sub named White

Subs with all new contract fight

Playoff leading, hair receding

Guide us to SportsCenter tonight

[Last modified December 22, 2007, 23:04:40]