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Politics

Another fun year around the world

By SUSAN TAYLOR MARTIN, Times Senior Correspondent
Published December 25, 2007

ADVERTISEMENT [AP photo] U.S. army soldiers from Blackfoot Company, 2nd Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment, enjoy their Christmas lunch in the volatile Diyala province, about 60 miles north of Baghdad.

After all those hefty holiday meals, a few nuggets from the international scene in 2007:

With intros like this, who needs insults?

In "welcoming" Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in September, Columbia University President Lee Bollinger called him a "petty and cruel dictator" who is "either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated."

He should have gone to Barney's instead:

Iranian men's fashion drew international derision after 15 captured British sailors posed for photos in cheap, ill-fitting suits before they were flown home last spring.

But the humidity is higher in Terre Haute:

Apparently oblivious to the bombed-out buildings and heavy security, U.S. Congressman Mike Pence visited Baghdad's Shorja market in April and found it to be "just like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime."

He must have missed the "government of the people..." part:

In suspending the constitution and declaring emergency rule Nov. 3, Pakistani dictator Pervez Musharraf quoted from Abraham Lincoln and compared his actions to Lincoln's suspension of certain rights during the U.S. Civil War.

The 194...make that 193 world nations:

At the recent international conference on climate change, delegates were warned that rising sea levels could swamp the island nation of Maldives and its thriving tourism industry.

If it was good enough for Mary and Joseph...:

To help boost the Palestinian economy, Middle East envoy Tony Blair spent the night at a luxury hotel in the storied town of Bethlehem. Asked how he reconciled his visit with U.S. and U.K. warnings against "non-essential travel" to the occupied territories, the former British prime minister said: "I think it is time to reconsider the advice."

It sounds even better in the original Spanish:

"Why don't you shut up?"

- King Juan Carlos of Spain to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez at a summit in Chile after Chavez called a former Spanish prime minister a fascist.

He puts the "abs" in absolute power:

Russian women who went gaga over photos of President Vladimir Putin's well-toned physique will have at least five more years to admire him, thanks to a political tour-de-force whereby Putin will become prime minister once his term as president ends in March.

If she could see better, she might have flipped for Vladimir, too:

"When I'm looking for something I've dropped on the carpet, I have a bit of a problem."

- German Chancellor Angela Merkel saying energy-saving light bulbs are not bright enough.

May we suggest a dash of rat poison?

"If he was here today, then of course I would prepare him a mutton korma. It was his absolute favorite, with a pilau full of almonds, orange peel and raisins."

-- Osama bin Laden's former valet Akhtar, on the terrorist leader's love of curries.

Famous last words, Part I:

In agreeing to a unity government with the rival Fatah party last February, Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal said the accord "will unify our ranks. We will preserve this partnership." Less than four months later a violent power struggle erupted that led to Hamas seizing the Gaza Strip and Fatah controlling the West Bank.

Excusez-moi, but we just don't have nice shops like this in Paris:

In a visit to the United States last summer, Cecilia Sarkozy, about to be ex-wife of French President Nicolas Sarkozy, skipped lunch with the Bush family because of an alleged sore throat. She recovered quickly enough to spend two days shopping in Wolfeboro, N.H. pop. 6,600.

We'd love to read THEIR postcards home:

"It's not evil, but it's certainly something we frown on."

- Jake Grieves-Cook, chairman of the Kenya Tourist Board, commenting on reports that as many as one in five single women visiting from rich Western countries are in search of sex with young Kenyan men.

Rejoinder of the year:

"I'm prepared to give it a go, but only if the Air Vice-Marshal shows me how to do it first."

- British pilot on suggestion from Air Vice-Marshal David Walker that the Royal Air Force should consider suicide attacks.

Famous last words, Part II:

"It doesn't get bigger than this."

-Titanic director James Cameron, standing in front of a 2,000-year-old stone box he said contained the remains of Jesus. Scholars and archaeologists quickly poured scorn on the claim, which Cameron later admitted had a 1 in 2-million chance of being true.

And you thought U.S. schools had problems:

British teachers are being encouraged to make classes more interesting by linking lessons to celebrities like soccer star David Beckham and Spice Girl wife Victoria, i.e. using their three kids as a springboard for discussion on population growth. (This is the same David Beckham who admitted he couldn't help his 6-year-old son with math because "it's totally done different to what I was teached in school.")

And on that note, Happy New Year!

Susan Taylor Martin can be contacted at susan@sptimes.com

[Last modified December 24, 2007, 21:56:26]