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Letter to the editor

The skinny

By Times Wires
Published January 3, 2008

I see paris ...

Fire put out by captain underpants

Frying bread turned out to be a bit of a double-edged sword for a family in Hartlepool, England. Bad, because the kitchen caught on fire while a couple of cousins were frying up some bread on Sunday. But good, because to put the fire out, one of the cousins grabbed the first piece of laundry he could find, soaked it, and doused the flames. What did fried bread have to do with that? Well, the piece of laundry he grabbed was his aunt's underwear. Size XL. "I'm lucky my knickers are like a parachute," Jenny Marsey told the Sun. "If they were skimpy, they'd have been no use." A fireman at the scene said that the concept of throwing a large, wet cloth over a fire is solid thinking, but stopped short of specifically endorsing the use of panties. "Clearly, it depends on what size you are," he said.

Animal kingdom

Golf balls send snake into surgery

In an effort to coax the chickens in their coop into laying more eggs, a couple in New South Wales, Australia, placed four golf balls in the coop. There's no word on whether it fooled the chickens, but it fooled a 2 1/2-foot carpet python that found its way into the coop looking for a meal. When the couple couldn't find the balls, but saw a lumpy-looking snake there, they rushed it to a veterinarian, who diagnosed that the snake would die without surgery. So he opened the snake up, took out the golf balls, and will send the snake on its way after it recovers.

Quiet!

Office is in range of too much noise

People who work in the Elmwood Park, N.J., corporate headquarters of the company that makes Bubble Wrap are just so tired of all the noise. Forever, all they hear is Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! They say it is "disruptive and unsettling" to employees, according to Northjersey.com. So they are complaining to the city. They aren't talking about their product. They're talking about the police shooting range next door. The police counter that the range has been there for 55 years, and company officials should have thought about the noise before they moved in.

High security

Please don't hurt potential thieves

Police in Church Lawford, England, have denied a woman's request for a tight security system in her home because they are afraid that it could hurt potential thieves. The woman, who was not identified in a story in the Rugby Advertiser, was the victim of a recent break-in where she lost thousands. She sought permission to put barbed wire on top of her security fence, but was told she could face liability issues if a trespasser was injured. "Why would I want my house safe for these people?" she asked. "These laws show we have gone soft in the head."

Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at jwebster@sptimes.com.

[Last modified January 3, 2008, 01:19:00]