'The Apprentice,' with a Tampa twist

By SCOTT LONG, Times Staff Writer
Published January 3, 2008

Just when we thought it was as dead as Trump Tower Tampa, The Apprentice bounces back on the tube tonight (9 p.m., NBC).

But this time, Donald Trump's business-minded reality throwdown has a twist: All the candidates are celebrities -- or, well, at least someone calls them celebrities. There's KISS rocker Gene Simmons, who runs more ventures than you can wag a tongue at, and then there's Olympic softballer Jennie Finch, whose business experience escapes even the poor, poor NBC writer charged with penning Apprentice candidate bios.

But what none of the 14 has is a home base in the Tampa Bay area. So with an eye toward Celebrity Apprentice II, we urge The Donald to take a good look at the resumes of these star-studded bay area movers and shakers:

Matt Geiger

Claim to fame: Homegrown National Basketball Association star.
Business acumen: Owns bustling Courtside Grille in Feather Sound and develops real estate.
Why we'd hear "You're hired!" He's fighting County Hall so he can build a heliport on his Old Keystone Road estate. Trump's bird would look pretty nice parked next to where the buffalo roam.
Why we'd hear "You're Fired!" The Donald is to the Trump Organization like the Washington Monument is to Washington, D.C.: nothing taller is allowed.

Dawna Stone

Claim to fame: Winner of The Apprentice: Martha Stewart.
Business acumen: Publisher of the successful St. Petersburg magazine Her Sports + Fitness and author of Winning Nice.
Why we'd hear "You're hired!" She's won before, so she knows how to deftly battle in the boardroom and how to get a grip on a gaggle of Type A personalities.
Why we'd hear "You're Fired!" She won on Martha Stewart's version. Trump hates Martha (did you read the letter? Ouch).

Hulk Hogan

Claim to fame: Inspired "Hulkamania" as one of the most famous pro wrestlers ever.
Business acumen: We'll look past that decision to pass up this little grill that George Foreman decided to hawk, and concentrate on Hogan Holdings Ltd., his Hogan Energy drink and the Hogan Knows Best TV show.
Why we'd hear "You're hired!" Trump has taken a turn or two in the squared ring, thinks of himself as a heavyweight and no doubt covets WWE-like ratings.
Why we'd hear "You're Fired!" Might get enraged after losing a challenge and put Trump in a headlock. No one messes with The Donald's hair. No one.

Joe Redner

Claim to fame: Proprietor of Tampa's world-famous gentlemen's club Mons Venus and perpetual candidate for public office.
Business acumen: Aside from those healthy strip club profits, Redner dabbles in somewhat less fleshy pursuits like a fitness club and, most recently, a hotel.
Why we'd hear "You're hired!" Trump, too, has had political aspirations; he does like the ladies and, even more, he likes successful, confident businessmen.
Why we'd hear "You're Fired!" Try as he might, Redner just can't get elected. And Trump hates losers. He says so every episode.

Billy Mays

Claim to fame: King of the TV informercial pitchmen.
Business acumen: His Mays Promotions Inc. of Dunedin makes insomniacs everywhere want to buy products like OxiClean, Kaboom! and Grip Wrench in a mere 120 seconds.
Why we'd hear "You're hired!" The Apprentice has degraded into a weekly 44-minute product placement, so who better to convince us that we need a new Burger King™ sandwich or that improved tube of Crest toothpaste?
Why we'd hear "You're Fired!" The Trumpster is prime time all the way. It's hard to imagine he'll want "Donald Trump, The Fragrance" plastered with those little red "As Seen on TV" logos.

Which Tampa Bay celebrity do you think would have the best shot of winning NBC's Celebrity Apprentice had they been invited? Vote at money.tampabay.com.

The actual players

Here are the 14 celebrities wheeling and dealing to earn money for their favorite charities on Celebrity Apprentice, which debuts at 9 tonight on NBC:

Nadia Comaneci

Where you've seen her: On a balance beam in Montreal in 1976.
Business chops: On the boards of a couple of charities.

Jennie Finch

Where you've seen her: On the pitching mound at the Olympics.
Business chops: She married a big-league pitcher. Does that count?

Marilu Henner

Where you've seen her:Taxi and Broadway.
Business chops: Produces TV shows and writes books.

Carol Alt

Where you've seen her: On the cover of 700 magazines and the poster that hangs in your son's room.
Business chops: Looks like just paving the way for a generation of supermodels.

Lennox Lewis

Where you've seen him: Pounding on Mike Tyson.
Business chops: Just a generic mention of "business ventures."

Gene Simmons

Where you've seen him: Rocking out to Detroit Rock City in full makeup.
Business chops: The IndyCar marketer also has companies focused on clothing, records, books, comics and a magazine.

Piers Morgan

Where you've seen him: Telling most of America they've got no talent weekly on NBC.
Business chops: Hosts TV shows, writes books.

Stephen Baldwin

Where you've seen him: On just about every celebrity reality TV show that'll have him.
Business chops: Co-founder of Baldwin D'Andrea Productions.

Tiffany Fallon

Where you've seen her: In the part of Playboy that folds out.
Business chops: Has a degree in sports management and ... well, an education is a good start.

Tito Ortiz

Where you've seen him: Beating the snot out of all comers in the UFC cage.
Business chops: His Team Punishment clothing line has girlfriend/male fantasy Jenna Jameson as a model.

Vincent Pastore

Where you've seen him: Swimming with the fishes on The Sopranos.
Business chops: Waste management, loansharking, union racketeering with Murder Inc. Oh wait, that was on TV. In real life? Um, couldn't tell ya.

Omarosa (Manigault Stallworth)

Where you've seen her: Unsuccessfully dodging a piece of falling plaster on the first season of The Apprentice.
Business chops: Managing partner for a strategic fundraising, planning and consulting service, and a former White House staffer.

Nely Galan

Where you've seen her: Turning Telemundo into a towering TV titan.
Business chops: Her production company has brought us The Swan and a daytime NBC show expected this year.

Trace Adkins

Where you've seen him: In the country music aisle of Tower Records.
Business chops: He has a book out. That's nice.