Think he wasted his life? 'You're wrong'

By Mike Wilson, Times Staff Writer
Published January 13, 2008

ADVERTISEMENT U.S. Army Maj. Andrew Olmsted, 38, was killed Jan. 3 when his unit was ambushed by gunmen in Sadiyah. [AP Photo | The Rocky Mountain News]

U.S. Army Maj. Andrew Olmsted, 38, was killed Jan. 3 when his unit was ambushed by gunmen in Sadiyah. He was the first American killed in Iraq this year.

Olmsted was well known to readers of the Rocky Mountain News Web site, where he published a witty, candid blog, "From the Front Lines" (go to rockymountainnews.com; search "Andrew Olmsted").

Before Olmsted died, he wrote a blog entry and asked that it be posted in the event he was killed. The posting runs almost 3,000 words; it can be seen at andrewolmsted.com. At right is a brief excerpt.

Mike Wilson, Times staff writer

This is an entry I would have preferred not to have published, but there are limits to what we can control in life, and apparently I have passed one of those limits. . . .

As with many bloggers, I have a disgustingly large ego, and so I just couldn't bear the thought of not being able to have the last word if the need arose. Perhaps I take that further than most, I don't know. I hope so. It's frightening to think there are many people as neurotic as I am in the world. In any case, since I won't get another chance to say what I think, I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. Such as it is. . . .

What I don't want this to be is a chance for me, or anyone else, to be maudlin. I'm dead. That sucks, at least for me and my family and friends. But all the tears in the world aren't going to bring me back, so I would prefer that people remember the good things about me rather than mourning my loss. (If it turns out a specific number of tears will, in fact, bring me back to life, then by all means, break out the onions.) I had a pretty good life. . . . Sure, all things being equal I would have preferred to have more time, but I have no business complaining with all the good fortune I've enjoyed in my life. So if you're up for that, put on a little '80s music (preferably vintage 1980-1984), grab a Coke and have a drink with me. If you have it, throw Freedom Isn't Free from the Team America sound track in; if you can't laugh at that song, I think you need to lighten up a little. I'm dead, but if you're reading this, you're not, so take a moment to enjoy that happy fact.

Believe it or not, one of the things I will miss most is not being able to blog any longer. The ability to put my thoughts on (virtual) paper and put them where people can read and respond to them has been marvelous, even if most people who have read my writings haven't agreed with them. If there is any hope for the long term success of democracy, it will be if people agree to listen to and try to understand their political opponents rather than simply seeking to crush them. While the blogosphere has its share of partisans, there are some awfully smart people making excellent arguments out there as well, and I know I have learned quite a bit since I began blogging.

Blogging put me in touch with an inordinate number of smart people, an exhilarating if humbling experience. When I was young, I was smart, but the older Igot, the more I realized just how dumb I was in comparison to truly smart people. But, to my credit, I think, I was at least smart enough to pay attention to the people with real brains and even occasionally learn something from them. It has been joy and a pleasure having the opportunity to do this. . . .

I suppose I should speak to the circumstances of my death. It would be nice to believe that I died leading men in battle, preferably saving their lives at the cost of my own. More likely I was caught by a marksman or an IED. But if there is an afterlife, I'm telling anyone who asks that I went down surrounded by hundreds of insurgents defending a village composed solely of innocent women and children. It'll be our little secret, ok?

I do ask (not that I'm in a position to enforce this) that no one try to use my death to further their political purposes. I went to Iraq and did what I did for my reasons, not yours. My life isn't a chit to be used to bludgeon people to silence on either side. If you think the U.S. should stay in Iraq, don't drag me into it by claiming that somehow my death demands us staying in Iraq. If you think the U.S. ought to get out tomorrow, don't cite my name as an example of someone's life who was wasted by our mission in Iraq. I have my own opinions about what we should do about Iraq, but since I'm not around to expound on them I'd prefer others not try and use me as some kind of moral capital to support a position I prob-ably didn't support. Further, this is tough enough on my family without their having to see my picture being used in some rally or my name being cited for some politicalpurpose. You can fight political battles without hurting my family, and I'd prefer that you did so.

On a similar note, while you're free to think whatever you like about my life and death, if you think I wasted my life, I'll tell you you're wrong. We're all going to die of something. I died doing a job I loved. When your time comes, I hope you are as fortunate as I was.

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[Last modified January 11, 2008, 16:41:17]