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Perks on the cheap: Job titles

What's in a name? A lot, apparently. Otherwise, human resources directors wouldn't put so much effort into the titles they create for their employees.

By Christina Rexrode, Times Staff Writer
Published January 13, 2008

What's in a name? A lot, apparently. Otherwise, human resources directors wouldn't put so much effort into the titles they create for their employees.

They give ambiguous titles like director of corporate insight (huh?) to newly appointed bigwigs when all the normal executive titles are taken. They christen janitors with inflated labels like maintenance engineer in an attempt to boost morale without spending money. The receptionist at Raytheon's St. Petersburg offices isn't really a receptionist; he's the director of first impressions, according to his nameplate. ( Times researchers couldn't prove that his impressive-sounding label is what makes him so friendly and attentive, but maybe it helps.)

In other cases, the nature of the job just begs for a unique moniker. MLB Creative, a small ad agency in Winter Park, has a chief creative officer. In New York, LesserEvil Brand Snack Co. has a head snackmaster. (Note to LesserEvil Brand Snack Co.: Please call me when that job opens up.)

And in late 2006, the Starwood Hotels & Resorts chain announced it was looking for a CBO. That's chief beer officer, and the job sounds really strenuous: "from hosting happy hour food and beer pairings to shooting commercials for Four Points TV with comedian Michael Ian Black" is how the company Web site describes it.

(Note to readers: This job isn't open, either. It went to a 20-something dude from Phoenix named Scott Kerkmans.)

Job titles can also be dictated by business trends. In vogue: being green, and not being subpoenaed. In the past few years, DuPont and Dow Chemical have hired chief sustainability officers, and other big companies have followed with similarly green positions. And last month,PBSJ of Tampa said it was hiring a West Point grad as its ethics and compliance manager. No one, apparently, wants to be another Enron.

Then, sometimes, there are job titles that defy all explanation. Take Build-A-Bear of St. Louis, which insists on calling its head the chief executive bear. Think that's bad? The company also analyzes its "Corbearate Sales" and touts "Employment Op-Bear-Tunities."

But who am I to criticize? I'm just a reporter, hoping that one day I'll hit the big time as an executive words director.

[Last modified January 11, 2008, 21:04:11]