Guest Column

This budget solution has your name on it, Ms. Winfrey

By CHARLIE REESE
Published January 21, 2008

The Amendment 1 advocates and opponents are gearing up and making their respective cases for and against voting on the property tax reform proposal now on the ballot. Property owners are looking for relief and see a "yes" vote as a means to save some money every month: an average of $240 annually. Public officials see the amendment as a budget-busting Trojan horse disguised as a gift, but filled with peril down the road.

In recent days, Pasco County school officials indicated their budget would suffer $67.5-million over the next five years should this amendment pass. County officials say they will take a $15.9-million hit next year.

It's a tough spot. Should economically pinched property owners go for the extra dough saved now? Will they do so and suffer the consequences of reduced government services later?

My guess is that voters will do what they always do and vote with their pocketbook. The amendment will pass and cuts will follow. Gnashing of teeth and wailing. Budget analysts will revise PowerPoint shows and gloom will descend upon the land. Sure, the average property owner will have a few extra bucks at the end of the year to spend on a new blouse that was soiled when they spilled their coffee on it after hitting a pothole that went unfilled due to budget cuts, but that's the way it is in the world of tradeoffs. Democracy works, but no one ever said it wasn't messy.

I, however, have a solution. It came to me the day I came across a news item after reading a couple of Amendment 1 opinion articles. The news item was unrelated to Amendment 1, but it is an election year so the media has got me convinced that everything is relevant.

The news item was about Oprah Winfrey starting her own television channel. It was only a matter of time. When you have a net worth of more than $1.2-billion, you can pretty much do anything you want. But adding one more television channel to a lineup of hundreds and hundreds of television channels already out there seems a bit uninspiring. Besides, she's already invested in a television channel. Ten years ago she invested in a channel called Oxygen and it just sold to NBC Universal for $925-million. So, been there, done that. Time for something a bit more creative, Oprah. Here's my pitch:

Pasco County should sell its naming rights. Think of it: Oprah County.

An entire county, named after you! Anybody (well, any rich body) can buy their own television channel. But a county? You would be the first, Oprah!

By most accounts, Pasco County was named after a man who some historians think never even set foot here. His name was put on the decree establishing this county as a political payback. His descendants, if any, are long gone. Such a name change won't be as controversial as changing a street name in Zephyrhills. Sam Pasco was an ardent supporter of the Confederacy, but he never helped his supporters get new cars now, did he?

Raymond James Financial bought the naming rights to a stadium for $32.5-million. And that's for only 13 years. A stadium! It's empty on most days.

Pasco, I mean, Oprah County is much bigger than a stadium. From the glistening Gulf of Mexico to the rolling hills to the east, this county is filled with promise and hope and optimism unlike any other county in America. Here is a county that has more commercial development going on now than any other county in the state. Indeed, more retail clothing stores are opening or have opened recently than at any other time in our history. And the reason I say that this county embodies the hope and optimism so sorely needed in humanity these days is this: How else can you explain that the county with the most clothing stores opening also is the county with more nudist resorts per capita than any other place in the world?

Optimism, baby! Pure and simple. Optimism in defiance of logic and realism. It's got Oprah written all over it.

So let's get on with it. School officials say a $67.5-million deficit awaits if Amendment 1 passes. Add to that the $15.9-million deficit that county officials say will result. That's an $83-million shortfall. Oprah, save us. We're for sale, despite what some purists will say in protest. Write a check to cover the losses and let your beautiful name adorn our lovely county.

When officials resort to begging citizens not to vote to save individuals' own taxes so public budgets aren't shaved from local bureaucracies, selling out is just a different way of diminishing our dignity.

Charlie Reese lives in Lutz.

[Last modified January 20, 2008, 21:08:02]