Column

Queen tells a tale of loss and hope

By ERNEST HOOPER, Times Columnist
Published February 9, 2008

ADVERTISEMENT Phyllis George was the 50th Miss America.

Like one of the handmade quilts she describes in her craft books, former Miss America and pioneering sportscaster Phyllis George spun a warm tale Thursday night for the sold-out crowd at the Johnnie B. Byrd Sr. Alzheimer's Institute's annual dinner.

George, the first woman to serve on a national NFL telecast, greeted the audience at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center with the southern charm that served her well as a television personality and first lady of Kentucky.

The self-described "little girl from Denton, Texas," referred to beauty queens as "BQs," spoke fondly of her love of handmade works (she's written five craft books) and noted she was the 50th Miss America "because we don't like to mention the year."

But she saved her sweetest words for her mother and father: Bob and Louise.

She told the audience her supportive parents steered her through a series of professional and personal challenges.

From living out of a suitcase as Miss America to her breakthrough role on CBS' NFL Today to her failed first marriage - she called it a "starter marriage" - her parents served as a calming force. Bob always bolstered her spirits, and Louise remained her best friend.

It all changed after Bob's death, which ended the Georges' 50-year marriage. Louise was devastated, and Phyllis began to notice differences. One day Louise got lost driving around town and stopped at a friend's house.

"She knocked on the door and Betty Lou said, 'Louise what are you doing here?'" George told the audience. "She said, 'Don't we have bridge today?' And Betty Lou said, 'We haven't played bridge here for five years.'

"I would tell her she would get better. I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things."

Phyllis thought the problems came from Bob's death.

"I didn't know at the time I was losing my best friend to Alzheimer's," George said. "Alzheimer's has become a vicious thief among us that steals memories, personalities, relationships, language and ultimately, the ability to function as a human being."

George became teary as she explained how one day her mom recognized her, and the next day she said, "Hi, Phyllis Ann, where you been?"

"It was like a lightbulb flickering on and off. One minute she knew me and the next minute she didn't."

She paused as her eyes welled, but I also noticed tears in the audience. Almost everyone was touched. But many cried because they were all too familiar with the pain.

She used four D's to describe the plight of caregivers: denial, depression, determination and dignity. Her mother died in 2004 with that last "D." Her hair was done and her nails were manicured because she would have wanted it that way.

"This horrific disease has to be stopped," George said. "Nobody should go through what we went through and what millions of people are going through right now. And it's going to get worse."

Despite her emotional account, George, 58, said her visit to the Byrd Institute left her more upbeat than ever. She toured the facility in a personalized lab coat, learned about the progress being made and bonded with researchers.

You expect tears at such a heartfelt event, but someday I expect everyone affected by Alzheimer's to cry tears of joy.

That's all I'm saying.

[Last modified February 8, 2008, 21:46:46]