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I'd like to announce: Be afraid, very afraid

By Howard Troxler, Times Columnist
Published February 24, 2008

For Bill McCollum, the attorney general of Florida, the world is a dangerous place, filled with child pornography, drugs, Internet predators and youth gangs.

These certainly are important things to worry about. It is fair to say, however, that our attorney general worries about them with special vigor.

No dust settles between McCollum's announcements on these topics. His office tends to announce each step twice - once, to announce that he is going to announce it, and then, to announce that he has announced it.

"STATEWIDE GRAND JURY MAKES SIGNIFICANT ANTIGANG RECOMMENDATIONS," his office trumpeted, followed by, "ATTORNEY GENERAL, LEGISLATIVE LEADERS ANNOUNCE TOUGH ANTIGANG LEGISLATION," and "McCOLLUM: EDUCATION, PREVENTION, REHABILITATION KEY TO STATE GANG STRATEGY."

The modern computer presents many threats. Hence: "ATTORNEY GENERAL, FLORIDA EDUCATION COMMISSIONER ANNOUNCE STATEWIDE CYBERSAFETY CHALLENGE." McCollum wants every school principal in Florida to sign up for presentations about the danger of child predators on the Internet.

Early February saw the perfect storm of child pornography cases, with the arrest of a spokesman for the Department of Children and Families which, naturally, deserved an announcement. This was followed Feb. 8 by "BROWARD COUNTY MAN ARRESTED FOR CHILD PORNOGRAPHY," Feb. 13 by, "PALM BEACH ATTORNEY CONVICTED OF SOLICITING 'CHILD' FOR SEX," and both Feb. 17 and 18, "LEGISLATION TO ASSIST VICTIMS OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY TO BE UNVEILED." This was followed Feb. 19 by the announcement the announcement had been announced.

Who would complain about an attorney general fighting child pornography? Not me.

Still, there is a whole wide world out there, and if the AG occasionally sued an electric company or butted in at the Public Service Commission or other state agencies like our last attorney general (a guy named Crist), or if he went after silk-stocking firms and powerful in-state interests like that guy in New York does, that wouldn't be so bad either.

* * *

When it comes to politicians announcing things, nobody takes a back seat to U.S. Rep. Kathy Castor, D-Tampa. If I understand the gist of her announcements correctly, she is fighting for us.

In January, Castor's office revealed that she "stands up for affordable health care for children from hard-working families." This was followed by the announcement that she would announce "new legislation for healthy, safe and affordable housing," and the announcement that she had announced it ("Castor Stands Up for Revitalized Communities, Healthy, Safe and Affordable Public Housing").

The next day, we learned, "Castor Fights for Stimulus Package to Help Middle-Class Families," and soon after, "Castor Stands Up for Affordable Health Care." A week later, it was that "Castor 'Leads the Charge' to Protect Florida Students, Universities and Middle-Class Families."

I suppose it is ungracious to be ungrateful for all this announcing - the greater danger might be from those who don't trumpet what they're up to. In that spirit, I'd like hourly updates on Dick Cheney.

[Last modified February 23, 2008, 23:23:27]