How should I handle a bulimic roomie?

By Natalie Campisi Tarpley, tbt*
Published March 14, 2008

For a while now, me and my two other roommates have suspected that our other roommate, "Jennifer," is bulimic. We can hear her throwing up in the bathroom. We're all thin, so we don't know if she feels like she has to maintain her looks because of how we look. None of us know how to bring it up or even if we should. If we're wrong we could risk hurting her feelings or making her angry. What should we do?

The first thing you should know about eating disorders is that it's not really about food or weight - they're the byproducts of deeper problems. That said, you'll never regret reaching out to your friend and letting her know that you're there for her and you care about her health and well-being. Listening is probably the best thing you can do to help her at this point. If she denies the problem, just let her know you're there for her if she needs you. And, of course, let her family know what you suspect. Anyone involved in her life should get educated on eating disorders before they approach her. She's probably very vulnerable and what she needs is a lot of love, not a lot of misguided advice. For more information and resources on bulimia, check out www.bulimiaguide.org

Date brother's ex?

I'm a single guy and my roommate is my brother's ex-girlfriend from seven years ago. She broke it off with him and I know it hurt him. He lives in Arizona now and we don't talk as much as we used to. Is it okay for me to date this girl? She's kind of wild, so I'm not even sure how far it'll go.

There's nothing like gambling on a prospect that's iffy at best - especially when the stakes are your brother, family loyalty, character, personal ethics and peace of mind. If you need to ask if it's okay, then you probably already know the answer. Oh, and I would also look for another roommate.

- Natalie Campisi Tarpley is a Tampa freelance writer. Got a roommate dilemma? Send it to nataliecampisi@gmail.com.

[Last modified March 11, 2008, 10:12:32]