First, shed the self doubt

Times readers say having a strong sense of self worth really helps in the weight-loss wars.

By JANET K. KEELER

© St. Petersburg Times, published January 3, 2001

Are you worth it?

Worth the effort it takes to tame your runaway eating? Worth getting off the couch and into exercise shoes? Worth saying "no" to a second helping when that rebellious voice inside whispers "go ahead"?

How they did it Need some motivation to get started on your weight-loss journey? Here are excerpts from some of the tales of success shared with the Times by readers. Their experiences and suggestions just might be the push you need.

Until you answer "yes" to these questions, you won't likely begin to battle the bulge. That was the message, loud and clear, from the more than 75 people who shared their weight-loss stories with the Times. With candor, humor and lots of passion, readers told of their successes through a variety of organized programs and homemade diets, through devotion to exercise and avoidance of fast food, through tenacity and sheer guts. We hope their achievements inspire others who wrote "lose some weight" at the top of their New Year's resolutions list.

"You really have to believe you are a worthwhile person to have the incentive to overcome the compulsion to overeat," writes Dorothy Hyde of St. Petersburg. In 1993, Hyde weighed 220 pounds; she is now down to 117. She credits TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) with helping her manage her eating.

"It's all about self-esteem," says Amy Person-Pullen, a holistic health practitioner with a wellness consulting practice in St. Petersburg and a veteran of the weight-loss wars. "You have to want to. You've got to want it for yourself. It all has to do with about what you are worth." (To find out more about Person-Pullen's practice, log on to her Web site at http://www.newagewellness.com.)

Besides a strong sense of self, the other common thread running through the letters we received was the notion that just about any diet works. For how long is another matter. Many writers found success on the popular Weight Watchers program. Richard Simmons, Jenny Craig, Suzanne Somers and Dr. Atkins are friends to others. Some people gave up sweets, others stepped up exercise. Some eschewed "diets" for "new lifestyles." People lost weight on fruit juice diets, online diets, vegetarian diets and our favorite, the winter visitor diet.

Celine Harkins uses the winter months she spends in St. Petersburg to take off the pounds she put on the rest of the year cooking for children and grandchildren up north.

"My eating pattern is centered around vegetables while I am here in Florida," Harkins writes. "I have found such an abundance of good vegetables available here in January, February and March that I have little trouble losing a fair amount of pounds."

When her clothes get snug, Alice Lyons of Largo knows it's time to do something. She has a lot of creative solutions for getting slim, including a rather sneaky trick for eating out.

"When going to restaurants where you almost always get too much food -- pour water on half of it -- without anyone seeing you of course," she writes. We guess this is after you've tried a little.

There is no lack of ways to lose weight (consider the Paleolithic diet inspired by Ray Audette's Neanderthin: Eat Like a Caveman to Achieve a Lean, Strong, Healthy Body) and apparently no shortage of money to spend on it. Americans dump $50-billion a year into the weight-loss industry on everything from program memberships to prescription drugs to fat-free cookies.

Despite all that money and all that effort, the success rate is abysmal. Most people gain back what they lose. Nutrition and behavior experts blame the yo-yo dieting syndrome on the lack of effort spent on learning how to maintain weight. It's all about the diet. Losing weight is the easy part; keeping it off is hard. And still, we persist.

"The only worlds of encouragement I can give to others is that no matter how many times you've tried to lose weight NEVER . . . NEVER . . . NEVER GIVE UP!" writes Kim Anton of Clearwater. Anton has tried "pills, potions, lotions and clinics" but finally found success with exercise. She swims an hour a day, six days a week. Since July, she's lost almost 40 pounds.

The weight-loss roller coaster can be spirit-breaking. Several people wrote tales of shame and frustration, none more touchingly than Tim Looney of Tampa, who was spurred to lose 90 pounds so he could be a better father and husband.

"I was 35 years old, closing in on 300 pounds (for the third time in my life) and realized that for the first seven years of my oldest son's life, and the first five years of my daughter's, I had not been to the beach with them. I was too ashamed to go to the beach and take my shirt off and too proud to go and leave it on, so I didn't go," he writes. "I hated going out with my wife because she looked great and I knew I didn't. I would accuse her of dressing too nice or wearing certain clothes to show off her body. I'd get angry at the drop of a hat, mostly because of my frustration at knowing how to change but not being able to."

The key to his success? He started doing things with his family.

"They were not ashamed of the way I looked, but their joy was palpable, and it fueled my desire to change," he writes.

Looney's epiphany will ring bells for some, but won't be recognizable by others. Each person brings her unique outlook and perceptions to weight loss, and that is why it is impossible to devise a program that works for everyone.

"Know thyself" might be the first commandment of weight loss. Dr. Gary DuDell, a Tampa psychotherapist who has helped many people deal with weight problems, says it is imperative to keep a record of progress, whether it be movement forward or a step back.

"We tend to distort our successes, we minimize them. Keeping a record does just the opposite," he says. "(A journal helps you) look at triggers of relapse. Why did you have that second piece of cake? If you don't keep a record, you don't have that information. By keeping a record, you'll automatically change your habits."

His other suggestions to people facing the uphill battle are to set realistic and specific goals and to use a support group. (DuDell's Web site is http://www.garydudell.com.)

"Most people do better with a buddy system, formal or informal. Almost any kind of behavioral change needs social support," DuDell says.

Sometimes that support comes in the form of sticky notes plastered all over the house. Joanne Russell of Tampa is motivated to keep off 37 pounds by looking at little squares of paper with the letters WAYM hand-written on them. "What Are You Moving" reminds her to "move something. Even talking on the phone I can move some part of my body (a hand, a foot, a chin.) HYTI reminds her to "Hold Your Tummy In."

[Courtesy of Sister Donna DeWitt.] BEFORE: Creeping toward 200 pounds, Sister Donna DeWitt of Holy Name Monastery in St. Leo had outgrown most of her clothes. That was last May.	[Times photo: Douglas R. Clifford] AFTER: Sister Donna, more than 40 pounds lighter, found inspiration from Richard Simmons, Weight Watchers and daily walks.

From the letters we received, it's clear that the desire to look good and feel good does not diminish with age. In fact, for some, it's a health problem that gave them the kick to get going. Losing weight is accomplished in less-than-perfect situations in the face of daunting obstacles as long as the commitment is there.

Sister Donna DeWitt, a Benedictine nun at Holy Name Monastery in Saint Leo, spends most of her time in the kitchen cooking for the 27 sisters who live at the monastery. She is well-known for her fabulous baked goods. Over the years, that baking and good cooking added 40 or so pounds to her 5-foot, 2-inch frame. She'd lost it several times, and she gained it back.

"This time," she says, "I decided that I really needed to do something. I started in May and decided to make a permanent change. A lifetime change."

Her downfalls, she says, were fats and starches, so she cut back there. Then she started exercising.

"I try to walk five days a week," she says. "It's great to tuck in your shirt and buy slacks that aren't queen size. You feel better psychologically. And when you live with a houseful of women, they tell you when you don't look so great."

Bob Garrelts of Tarpon Springs found the secret to his success in service of others. He devised a program he calls the Habitat for Humanity diet, and it helped him drop more than 60 pounds and build 17 houses along the way.

"Eat low-fat, low-carbohydrate meals, watch your sugar intake and drink lots of water," Garrelts writes. "Add a Christian ministry and work at Habitat two days a week. The sweat equity will melt the pounds away. Not fast like a fad diet, but slowly, the right way."

For most of the people who shared their stories, William Wietor's sentiments sum up their experiences.

"You have to want to do this for yourself, no one else can do it for you. I realized (losing weight) was not for anyone else but myself, so I had to do it for me," writes the New Port Richey man who dropped 110 pounds by cutting out fat and fast food and replacing it with fruit, vegetables and lots of water.

"I love myself and I am very happy with my weight at 185 pounds. I have kept it off for over a year now and I do not miss that 110 pounds at all!"

Time to give yourself a big hug and get going, don't you think?

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