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By KATHERINE SNOW SMITH
© St. Petersburg Times, published January 14, 2001
ST. PETERSBURG -- At A Circle of Children day care center in St. Petersburg, fathers come one Monday night a month and read aloud to their children.
Parents at Rosetta Williams' family child care home have joined the children on field trips to Lowry Park Zoo and Chuck E. Cheese's pizza restaurant.
Angela Stevenson, who also is a family child care provider in her home, cooks dinner for her kids and their parents every month or so. The group talks about new ways to encourage their children in their endeavors at home and at day care.
So if day care is a place we take our kids, why are parents spending so much time there?
Providers say children are happier in day care if they know their parents think it's important and are connected with it, too.
"You may think (a parent's role) is just picking up kids and dropping them off," Stevenson said. "But it's not. It's seeing what they did all day."
"A lot of parents bring their kids early in the morning, and they don't have time to talk to the teacher or look at the classroom," said Bernetta Blossom, an administrative assistant who started the Daddy Read To Me program at A Circle of Children day care center. When the dads come to read the first Monday night of the month she invites them to tour the center with their children.
"All these kids, they hate taking their naps but they are so excited to show Mom and Dad their cot," Blossom said. "Even the 1- and 2-year-olds are able to point out things in their rooms."
A Circle of Children was one of 31 child care centers or homes to receive grants last year to finance programs that increased family involvement. The grants were from the Juvenile Welfare Board and Coordinated Child Care, which subsidizes child care for low-income families.
The reading night at A Circle of Children was started after a father told Blossom that he rarely got to visit the day care center because his wife had custody of the children. Because many of the children at the center are from single-parent homes, Blossom thought a reading night would encourage fathers to take part in their child's day care. In some cases they invited uncles or brothers to read.
Louella Craig, a teacher at the center, breaks the ice by telling the first story. Then each child picks a book for dad or a family member to read. They sit in their laps or help turn the pages while they're reading. They finish the night with cookies and milk. Some kids even wear their pajamas so they can go straight home to bed.
"The next day you hear the kids say: "My daddy was at school last night and he read to me,' " Blossom said. "It's important to the kids that their parents think what they do every day is important."
The center also used grant money to put on a Thanksgiving feast and a Christmas show on a Saturday. Almost 100 parents and grandparents visited the center for the festivities. And the reading program will be expanded this year for moms, too.
Coordinated Child Care started a real push to increase parent involvement about a year ago. Mona Jackson, family involvement coordinator, teaches a yearlong program to providers to show them the importance of parental involvement.
"When the child sees the providers and parents have a relationship and get along, it creates good emotional feelings," she said. "We are really excited because we value the family as a child's first teacher."
Though the initial grants have run out, Jackson is seeking more grant money so current programs can be continued and more providers can start projects. The grants also pay for a library of books on topics such as brain development and parenting, which providers can loan to kids' parents.
Rosetta Williams hopes to take a family field trip once a month because the group got so much out of their last trip to Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa.
"We took pictures of the children. We sat together at McDonald's and had sandwiches and french fries," she said. "It was a wonderful day."
Williams also asks parents to find time to occasionally come early or stay late when they pick up their child. She serves coffee or tea, and the parent reads to the kids.
"When the children see that I have a connection with their mother,they feel much more comfortable," Williams said.
Along with hosting family dinners and discussion groups, Stevenson used some of her grant money to buy a digital camera. With her computer, she can give parents pictures so they can see exactly what their child did that day at day care.
"We can't save something great that they built out of blocks all day, but we can take a picture of it and show it to (parents) as soon as they get there," Stevenson said.
If your day care home or center doesn't have a grant or specific parent involvement program, there is still plenty you can do to become more connected. Ask if you can have breakfast one morning or come by during lunch for a birthday party. You can even invite the provider over to your own house for dinner.
"It's just like when your kids start school, if you don't get involved, the kids don't think it's that important," said Mary Tingiris, president of the Florida Family Child Care Home Association. "Brain research has proved the most critical years for a child are birth to 3, and that's when a lot of children are in care. This is the most important time of their lives for establishing relationships and socializing." Children who feel comfortable, important and excited about day care are going to learn more there.
Tingiris, who is also a provider in Tampa, has made a tradition of inviting dads in for a Father's Day breakfast. And she clears off the couch every afternoon so tired moms or dads can take a load off for as long or as short as they want before they head home.
Some child care providers may not be as eager to plan family togetherness. You have to recognize some people simply aren't into socializing as much, Tingiris said. But if someone just wants to push your child out the door as quickly as possible at pickup time, this could be a red flag.
"A good provider would encourage parents to always feel free to come in," Tingiris said. "Somebody who is not too sure of themselves would not. If that seems to be the case, then I would back up and consider: "Is this really where my child belongs?' "
- You can reach Katherine Snow Smith by e-mail at Oliviachar@aol.com; or write Rookie Mom, St. Petersburg Times, PO Box 1121, St. Petersburg, FL 33731; or call (727) 822-7225.