Tampabay: Trying to find answers in the death of a teen

Trying to find answers in the death of a teen

By MARY JO MELONE

The essence of being a parent is the fear that something awful will indeed happen to your teenager, and there's nothing you can do.

Your kid is out of your house more than he's in it. You can't control him. You can hardly influence him any longer. His values have been set. Same goes for his personality.

Most of all, you can't protect him.

Will it be a car wreck? A drug bust? Will he screw up in school? Will she get pregnant?

Or will somebody shoot him?

All you can do is hope you've taught your child to make smart choices. The rest is up to him or her, as it was up to Teddy Niziol.

The 16-year-old Pasco boy was accidentally shot and killed by his best friend Wednesday afternoon after the school day ended at Ridgewood High in New Port Richey. Teddy was shot moments after he showed the gun to the friend, Steven Moschella.

How did Teddy get that .22-caliber Magnum, his heartbroken father asked.

The answer to that question must have only devastated Teddy's family more. Police say Teddy may have stolen the gun, during a series of car break-ins last weekend in St. Pete Beach, far from his home.

The gun apparently was taken from one of the cars. After Teddy died, police said they found a credit card taken in the burglaries in his pocket. A stolen wallet and cell phone were also found in his Toyota 4-Runner.

Teddy Niziol isn't alive to explain his actions, how he got the gun, or why he took it to school. A note he wrote to another student indicated he intended to sell the gun to somebody else.

Given the story that is emerging, you may not feel much sympathy for Teddy Niziol.

But he was somebody's son.

And for his actions, he paid the steepest price, with his life.

Except for the fact that a teenager died, this story is not all that remarkable -- and that ought to make you pay attention.

A determined kid can get a gun in a snap, and not just through a burglary.

Said Tampa police Lt. Jane Castor: "Ask your friends (with teenagers). They'll say the kids don't know where the guns in the house are. Ask the kids, and they know exactly where they are."

You can beat yourself over the head wondering why kids would want a gun, why a decade of bloodshed involving kids and weapons hasn't made an impression on them.

It doesn't do any good. Kids are kids.

I said at the start that the essence of being a teenager is a belief in your invincibility.

That isn't the whole story. Mixed in with that, hiding most of the time, is a more childish faith, that when push comes to shove, some adult will step in and save them.

This might explain why some kids at Ridgewood High accused the school's principal, and the Sheriff's Office, of blowing it -- of knowing Teddy Niziol had a gun and of failing to intervene.

Sheriff Lee Cannon turned on one of those kids at a news conference at week's end and told her to look in the mirror. It turns out that several of Teddy's friends knew about the gun, and none of them reported it. None of them. Teddy would have gotten into trouble then.

There is a life lesson in Teddy Niziol's death, although I would never say that this is what gives his death meaning.

Maybe it takes an incident like this for at least a few kids to realize they are not invincible, that death is real and final. Maybe a kid like Teddy had to die for some of his friends to learn that every person is responsible for himself, and that when he acts responsibly, he is doing right by others. This is called being an adult. This is called being part of a community.