Under London's Millennium Dome

Is this huge extravaganza a stately pleasure dome or a warren of haphazardly maintained vignettes of a future whose time already has passed?

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By SUSAN TAYLOR MARTIN, Times Senior Correspondent

© St. Petersburg Times, published February 6, 2000

LONDON -- Heading to London this year? Expect to be blitzed with ads urging you to spend "One Amazing Day" at the Millennium Dome, the showpiece of Britain's year-long Y2K celebrations.

Alas, the Dome made an inauspicious debut New Year's Eve when thousands of guests nearly missed the opening gala because they had to wait in long lines for security checks. Among the unhappy VIPs were several British newspaper editors whose publications proceeded to trash the $1.2-billion Dome as a colossal waste of money.

But, as often happens, the media's view of things doesn't jibe with the public's. A majority of those who have visited the Dome -- mostly Britons thus far -- say they love its mix of interactive exhibits, Vegas-style entertainment and tantalizing looks into the future.

I found that the Dome is not as bad as its harshest critics maintain. Nor is it nearly as good as Walt Disney World or other U.S. attractions by which Americans will invariably judge it.

So, to go or not to go? If you have some time after enjoying London's historic sites, live theater and other draws, the Dome can be a pleasant-enough diversion, especially if there are kids in your group. But try to visit mid-week when British schools are in session and the place is not overrun with shrieking 8-year-olds.

Casualty of war The village of Tyneham, in the peaceful, green English countryside, was not a victim of German bombs during World War II. It was destroyed instead by friendly fire. Picturesque Cornwall calls to tourists "It's spelled Mousehole. It's pronounced Mewz'l. We were sacked and burned by the Spanish. And," the shopkeeper says with a sly grin, "it's our turn to sack the tourists." Seeing London's truly remarkable sights LONDON -- The Millennium Dome is worth a visit if for no other reason than to see how a government can spend over $1-billion and produce so little that's truly remarkable. Birmingham, first-rate 'second city' Forget everything you ever thought about this bustling English metropolis: Gone are the soot, belching factory chimneys and dreariness of past centuries; here are extensive parks, museums and great dining and shopping on the banks of the old canal system.

The gray, blustery Wednesday that I went proved ideal. Gone were the two-hour lines that generated so much negative publicity the opening week. I was able to walk into most exhibits; indeed, at times there seemed to be more attendants than guests.

First stop was the Body Zone, the most hyped and perhaps the best of the Dome's 14 themed attractions. As you approach the two giant, intertwined bodies, you feel like a Lilliputian stumbling upon Gulliver.

The dimly lit entrance tunnel may bother claustrophobics, but it quickly opens into a large body cavity -- the bowels? the stomach? -- that rumbles with suitably disgusting noises and teems with what appear to be huge crabs crawling around in pubic hair. Unfortunately, there are no signs to explain what you're looking at, a major flaw throughout what is presumably an educational exhibit.

From there you ride an escalator up through the lungs and under a giant pulsating heart. The grand finale is the brain, actually one brain wearing a fez cracking jokes to other brains laughing uproariously. The accent and humor are both very British, and possibly over the heads of most Americans.

The only semi-fun thing in the nearby Money Zone is using a gold "credit card" to see if you can spend $1.5-million in 60 seconds on such luxuries as chartering the Concorde. Otherwise, this exhibit suffers from the same preachiness and commercialism as too many others, urging you to "invest wisely" (perhaps through the London brokerage that sponsored the exhibit.)

I was also disappointed in Home Planet, described as the most Disney-esque of the Dome's attractions. It features a ride, of sorts, in which you board a spaceship and visit a glacier (the cabin gets cold) and a volcano (the cabin gets hot). And that's about all there is to it. Americans weaned on a "Haunted Mansion" and "Space Mountain" will find this pretty lame stuff indeed.

Likewise, reality falls short of expectations in the the mock-up of a futuristic, high-speed tilt train in the Journey Zone. Rather than emulate the tilting motion, the "train" was nothing but a bunch of seats like you would find on the 10:10 to Oxford. Several people sat down, clearly expecting the seats to do something, and the passengers left perplexed.

On the other hand, I quite enjoyed Living Island, a recreation of an English seaside resort complete with tunnel of love, pebble beach and a somewhat heavy but interesting "green" theme. (One display shows the vast array of junk discarded on British beaches each year.)

Unfortunately, the mock public lavatories marked "Out of order -- water shortage" reflect what's wrong with much of the Dome. Too many zones rely on interactive exhibits that are either hard to operate or do not work at all. Living Island has a wonderful arcade that should be fun for kids, but on the day I visited at least a third of the skee-ball machines and other games were broken.

Another problem with the Dome is its sheer size. It's the biggest domed structure in the world -- twice the size of Atlanta's Georgia Dome, where the Super Bowl was played last week -- and it is obvious that the designers had a hard time trying to decide what to put in all that space. In some places, they simply gave up.

In the Mind Zone, you walk through several huge, nearly empty rooms and climb several flights of stairs to reach what sounds like an intriguing exhibit -- the Morph Machine, which lets you pretend to change your sex, race and age. But, typically, one of machines was out of order and the other took so long to "morph" a single face that it hardly seemed worth the wait.

The Dome's size is used to better effect in the live extravaganza staged twice a day in the central "Big Top" area. Although the techno music is loud and mind-numbing, the gaudily dressed stilt walkers, gymnasts and aerial acrobats put on an entertaining 40-minute show.

For children, though, the favorite attraction is Timekeepers, a multi-level castle equipped with cannons that fire foam balls. Even adults enjoy pelting each other (and what a nice, safe way to get back at those nagging kids you've dragged along on your vacation.)

If you go

Getting there: The Millennium Dome, which will be open throughout 2000, is in North Greenwich, near London. There is no parking for private cars within two miles of the site, so the best way to get there is via the Jubilee Line on the London Underground or by boats that leave every 30 minutes from London's Waterloo and Blackfriars piers.

Tickets: Tickets can be purchased at the gate, although reservations are suggested. You can buy tickets on the Internet (http://www.tickets.dome2000.co.uk) or from Lottery dealers throughout Britain (usually at newsstands). For adults, the price is about $34, for children, about $28. Discounts are available for groups, families, students and seniors.

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