Fun golf lover seeks friend, maybe more

If you're single, like golf and can't stomach the thought of singles bars, the American Singles Golf Association might be a perfect match.

By LOGAN D. MABE

© St. Petersburg Times, published March 13, 2000

TAMPA -- The scene outside the pro shop at Carrollwood Village Golf Club looks like any other weekend corporate outing or neighborhood tournament. Dozens of golf bags are clustered around a sign-in table. Men and women exchange good-natured greetings. Everyone is smiling behind sunglasses as tee time approaches.

But this coed crowd plays golf for the love of the game and the game of love.

The American Singles Golf Association is everything its name implies. It's a singles club for men and women who share a passion for romance and golf, and not necessarily in that order.

"Everyone's looking for the same thing," said Emily Klein, president of the Tampa Bay chapter. "Someone who's a golfer and a companion."

For Sharon Halligan, one of the 225 chapter members, the ASGA was a perfect match.

"I was in a relationship that introduced me to golf," said Halligan of Safety Harbor. "But when the relationship broke off, I was already hooked on it. I didn't know that many women who played golf, and those that did played with their husbands."

Halligan, like many women golfers, found the idea of going to a course solo sort of scary. There was always the chance that she would be put in a foursome with male players who might not have the patience for her Sunday duffer game.

"I never had a chance to practice except at the driving range because I was so intimidated about getting hooked up with three pros while I'm knocking balls in the water," Halligan said.

When she saw a flier in her building advertising the group ("Let's play a round"), Halligan realized, "There was my answer."

ASGA was launched in Charlotte, N.C., when two love-starved golfing guys struck upon a thoroughly original idea.

"In September 1992, Tom Alsop and David Dalton were visiting a number of church-related singles clubs," reads a history of the group found on ASGA's Web site, http://www.singlesgolf.com. "In fact, they would try to "squeeze in' as many singles gatherings as they could on any given Sunday, maybe two or three in the morning and one in the evening. And they also enjoyed their golf game together.

"One day, the two were out playing golf when Alsop was attracted to a female foursome on the opposite fairway. And then the idea struck him: Why not start a singles club for people who play golf?"

The test of 18 holes

From that inspiration has grown a network of clubs across the country. Now, there are ASGA chapters in Atlanta, Milwaukee, Oklahoma City, Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., and Detroit, to name a few.

The idea works because, members say, it's the perfect deal for singles seeking company. You spend five hours with someone, and usually another couple, doing something you both enjoy. The pretenses that are easily maintained through dinner and a movie don't always stand up through 18 holes of golf, allowing potential mates to see each other's true character.

To facilitate these couplings, the local chapter has two outings and a general membership dinner each month. The outings consist of one "casual" match, usually a field of 48 to 64 players, in which each golfer plays his or her own ball throughout the round. Usually there's a party afterward.

The regular outing, which generally draws a much larger field, uses a "best ball" format where foursomes team up and shoot for the best score.

Klein said the group started small, and it took a while for the membership to reach gender balance.

"When we first started, our first outing was at Pebble Creek Golf Club and it was like three women to a man, and there were, like, 24 of us playing," Klein said. "Now it's starting to turn, so we have a good ratio."

Pete Bowinski joined the club after moving to Tampa from Denver in 1997.

"I didn't know a soul, really," he said. "The people I've met in the group are some of my closest friends now."

A far-from-par golfer, Bowinski is a gregarious fellow whose "people person" skills serve him well as the club's golf chairman. He selects the courses for the outings (they've played from Isla del Sol in St. Petersburg to Lexington Oaks in Wesley Chapel), and more importantly, he sets the pairings.

In a way, Bowinski is the club's resident matchmaker.

"But I try not to let people think that," Bowinski said. "I like to say it's random, but it's not. The group is designed for people to meet people, so I try to make sure they meet the most people they possibly can."

Deborah Smith of Town 'N Country said she has been a golfer off and on for years. But only since she joining ASGA has golf become a way to meet like-minded souls.

"It was hard to find people to play golf with because I wasn't a great golfer and being female, it was kind of hard," Smith said. Like many of the club's female members, Smith found that the ASGA helped break down the for-guys-only perception that plagues the game.

"I've talked with other women, and they feel like it's a game for the men," Smith said. "But I think the game's for everyone. With ASGA, it's definitely much better."

Getting into the swing

Smith admits that for her playing golf is harder than playing the singles game, but she said the club makes both a little easier.

"I've been divorced a little over two years," Smith said. "I was married for five years and (with her former husband) for eight. I would say (the club) has made it easier for me to get back into it. I'm not really interested in hanging at a bunch of bars anymore."

In addition to the golf outings and the monthly meetings at Crawdaddy's on Rocky Point, the club also sponsors strictly social events. Last fall, for instance, members participated in a murder mystery dinner party held at another member's home. And this past Christmas, the golfers parked their sticks in favor of a Christmas party at Westchase.

For New Year's, the national ASGA invited members from chapters across the country to a three-day millennium event at Hilton Head Island, S.C.

"After 2 1/2 years here, a nicer group of people you couldn't meet," said Bowinski, who has seen his golf game and his love life improve thanks to ASGA. "Oh, it does work. Several people have met each other and become good friends or steady date-type things.'"

Bowinski has dated "three different ladies" from the group and now sees Smith regularly.

Klein said a regular topic of conversation is whether "anybody is seeing anybody."

And with good reason.

The club has lost a handful of members who committed the unpardonable sin of losing their single status. Four members had to be exiled for marrying each other.

But matrimony is not the ultimate goal of most members, many of whom have been down the aisle before.

"Actually I did meet someone through the golf group a year ago December, and we've been seeing each other ever since," said Dixie Bechard, the group's vice chair and social director.

"It's been wonderful. But I've also made some very good close friends. It's truly a golf-oriented group with social leanings. It's a nice way to meet people without the negatives of a singles club."

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