Expecting a McKay surprise

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By GARY SHELTON

© St. Petersburg Times, published April 15, 2001

By now, we know all there is to know about Jeff Backus.

We know his jersey number, his shoe size, his favorite ice cream. We know his 40-time, and that the field was muddy on the day he ran, and that his legs were weary from the mosh pit at the Britney Spears concert. We know he'll take a Mocha Venti. We know he likes moonlight walks on the beach, Ally McBeal reruns and walking in the rain with the one he loves.

We know all of this, of course, because Jeff Backus is The Promised One.

He is ours. Everyone says so. Mel Kiper says he's coming. So does Joel Buchsbaum. So do CNN/SI and ESPN and PFW and TSN and, one assumes, the FBI. The world is so convinced that Backus, the Michigan tackle, is going to be drafted by the Bucs, the poor guy must be besieged by calls from Tampa Bay Realtors.

If you pay attention to these Mock Drafts -- and you have to, otherwise you could get hit in the nose with one -- then you are used to see Backus linked with the Bucs, like Meg Ryan to Russell Crowe. By now, Jim Backus, old Mr. Magoo, could pick Jeff Backus with that 21st pick of the first round. Yep, it all makes wonderful sense. A team needs a left tackle, a left tackle needs a team. Come on. You'd fix them up on a date, wouldn't you?

And now comes the part with the problem.

No way it happens.

For one thing, it makes entirely too much sense. If the Bucs are anything on draft day, it is not predictable. Remember, we're talking Rich "Gotcha!" McKay here, a major-mock-mucker from way back. He's traded down. He's traded up. He's traded here. He's traded there. He's traded his peanut butter and jelly for Jerry Angelo's pastrami on rye. He's traded for more picks. He's traded for fewer picks. If you want to trade your car, he'll listen! He's eBay McKay! No reasonable offer refused!

So ask yourself. Do you really think McKay is going to sit around all afternoon and do exactly what everyone expects him to do?

Please.

Then, there is this.

For whatever reason, McKay hates left tackles.

Oh, he'll swear he doesn't, of course. But what other choice can we come to? For five years now, McKay has been on the verge of drafting a left tackle. He was going to draft Walter Jones in '97, remember, after he traded up to get to the spot? But then he traded down and took Warrick Dunn. He was going to draft Mo Collins in '98, but he traded down again and took Jacquez Green. He was going to take L.J. Shelton in '99, but he took Booger McFarland. He was going to draft Stockar McDougle last year, but that pick went in the trade for Keyshawn Johnson. Now he's going to draft Backus? Oh, the Bucs will put money into their offensive line (Jeff Christy and Randall McDaniel, for instance), but when it comes to drafting linemen, the Bucs seem to get picky.

Either McKay was spoiled by Paul Gruber, or he's haunted by Charles McRae, or both. Or maybe this: When people talked of retiring Gruber's number, McKay thought he was supposed to retire the position.

For whatever reason, the world seems convinced the Bucs have a problem at left tackle, and McKay remains convinced they do not. He sees a wall, we see a doorway. He sees George Hegamin and Pete Pierson and thinks "We're okay." We see them and say "not if the NFL lets them play at the same time."

There appears to be a simple philosophy coming from the Bucs when it comes to offensive tackles. There are a few great ones, and everyone else is a guy named Biff. Either you pick a decade guy, a guy like Gruber, or you might as well play your plumber over there. Come to think of it, maybe it was McKay's plumber who had his face eaten by Hugh Douglas in the Eagles' playoff game. Frankly, it was hard to tell from the dental records.

Okay, okay. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking if McKay wants a great tackle, he should trade up and bring one back alive. You're thinking Kenyatta Walker would look just dandy in pewter. You're thinking, well, crazy. It isn't going to happen. There is too much distance to cover between where the Bucs pick and where they'd have to pick.

So what happens?

Picture this: It is Saturday afternoon, and time is moving slowly, and you are willing to pay to have someone throw things at Kiper. The Bucs are on the clock, and Kiper is talking about Backus, and Chris Berman is talking about Chris Berman, and defensive ends are drawing maps to Brad Johnson's blind side.

Inside the Bucs draft room, there is a discussion. Yes, Backus' name will come up. Look, there is no problem with Backus. He's going to be a good player. But he's not going to be a great player. He'll be solid, but he won't sizzle. And that may be his undoing. There will be talented wide receivers and corners plummeting through the draft. As they did with McFarland, the Bucs may have a chance to pick a higher level player.

And so, McKay and Tony Dungy will walk into the room, and they'll be smiling over their pick.

"With our pick," Dungy says, "we selected Clemson receiver Rod Gardner."

"Gotcha," McKay says.

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